Chasing Shadows //Theo James//

C H A P T E R 11

~B L A K E~

I'm sitting at home, in my living room, at my desk. I'm writing in my journal.

My journal. It's one of the most precious things in my life. I use yet sometimes as diary but most of the time as a book where I write short stories and ideas for books.

I got Veronica Roth to sign it and that's probably the closest my journal has ever been to someone else. I never let anyone see it or read it. It has a lot of personal things written in it.

Theo saw it, though. I don't know if he wants to ask about it but he probably does since he is almost obsessed with me writing.

I wonder why Theo is so interested, though. It's not like it's good but he hasn't read any of it yet so I don't know if he would like it or not.

The reason why I don't Theo reading my work is because I really don't want to loose him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me since high school.

My writing has a lot of personal meaning and emotion and used to not have it but ever since I went through the bullying and everything, it started being like that.

I'm afraid that Theo won't like my writing because of that. I'm afraid that Theo will leave me because I'm to messed up but if Theo truly loves me then- wait. Did I just say 'love' in the same sentence as 'Theo' and 'Me'?

I don't love Theo, not saying that I never will. I kind of believe that I can never love again.

In high school was when my life really fell apart. I was bullied, my parents divorced, I used to cut myself, I used to have really weird thoughts, I had to go through therapy.

I think that after that, I have lost all feeling of love therefore I feel like I will never love.

I mean, I kind of feel like Theo loves me. He treats me like a princess which is what I believe every girl deserves.

I don't know, though. Maybe this is just another thing to make my life crumble again.

Even though high school was almost eight years ago, those times really had a big affect on my life and they have probably changed it forever.

--TIME LAPSE--

~T H E O~

I am on my way over to Blake's apartment. I figured I would surprise her and just spend some time with her.

It's Saturday so I know she is not at work but I am just hoping she is home.

I knock on her door and she answers a few seconds later.

"Theo, what are you doing here?" She asks in shock. She is wearing pajama pants, a college tee shirt, and her hair is in a messy bun. She sort of hides behind the door but is still visible.

"I came over to just see you." I say and smile. She smiles and looks down and blushes. "You could have texted me." She looks up and laughs.

"Well, it's better not to since if I came I would get to see you in your natural habitat." I say, referring to her having no lights on in her house, no TV on, she's still in her pajamas, and it's one o'clock. We laugh.

"Can I come in?" I ask. She nods and steps back with the door so she is still hiding herself. I walk in and she closes the door.

"I'm going to change real quick." She says as she starts to walk toward shed bedroom but before she eats too far away from me I grab her hand.

"No, don't change. I like you like this." I laugh and she smiles. She walks back over to me. She stands in front of me, both of our hands intertwined.

"So, I know it's Saturday, but what have you done to make you stay in your pajamas all day and have nothing on?" I ask. She looks down, like she's contemplating on telling me or not.

She looks back up at me, "I've been writing."

"What?" I ask in fake shock, "the cute, nerdy Blake is writing something and actually told me about it?" We laugh.

"Yep," she says.

"So, does this mean that I can-"

"Maybe." She cuts me off. I smile and she smiles back.

--TIME LAPSE--

~B L A K E~

Me and Theo basically just sit on my couch, watching 'Girl Meets World' on Netflix.

You know, to be a Disney Channel show, me and Theo laughed so many times.

He is sitting on the couch while I am laying on the couch with my head in his lap. He is playing with my hair.

"So, can I read your work now?" He asks.

What do I say? I don't know if I should let him read it or not.

a/n: I figured this would be a good cliff hanger lol.