Comrade: A not-so-perfect past. One-shot. (VA Fanfic)

My not-so-perfect past

DPOV
She moaned when I lightly bit her nipple. My pants became just a little bit tighter. I let my left hand ghost over her skin and enter her panties. I pressed harder against her and bit her other nipple. I groaned while she did. I rubbed my left hand down there and my right hand played with her breast. It was a little too small for my hand, but still I was being driven crazy with desire and need.

She was pretty, almost beautiful. She was such a kind-hearted girl. I hadn't a clue what I was doing- I was barely thirteen, for crying out loud! But I had a quiet confidence that didn't let her know just how inexperienced I truly was at this. But she was happy to take over and make my hormones go haywire. She wasn't the school slut, but I knew she'd lost her virginity what seemed to be a long while ago.

When I slid into her I didn't get the universe-aligning feeling they say should happen. I wouldn't know that feeling for just over another decade, with a woman who would be my soulmate against all logic and reason... and our first time- her first time- would also be illegal, but what does love care about laws? But, for now, as I pumped in and out, I still felt amazing. Then again, I had consumed an amazing volume of the strongest Russian vodka that had been swiped by one of my friends from one of the history teachers. It had been a particularly bad week, and my 'father' had come by to abuse my mother the night before we returned to school. For a first week back after Easter break it was all too much and I needed to let loose, I needed to forget, and I needed to be a teenager. So for now, I felt amazing. I was drowning in physical pleasure, in ecstasy. For now, I felt amazing and I felt like an acceptable member of the male population. I'd never before thought of sex as a 'box to tick', but right now I couldn't bring myself to regret proving I could be just as powerful in bed as I was in the gym.

That regret came to haunt me when I got hot and heavy with my seventeen year old student. Eleven years later. I could tell by the nervous sparkle in Roza's eye that she wasn't the experienced young woman she and especially the Moroi males made her out to be. I felt the planets starting to align just by kissing her, just from holding her, touching her, being touched by her, by her looking in my eyes with an unquantifiable amount of desire and affection, the affection I returned in an abundance I'd never imagined anyone could ever possibly feel for another. I regretted giving my virginity up to someone I wasn't attached to. She had waited, waited for me to come into her life. I hadn't waited for her to come into mine. And I regretted it. She was depending on me to make her first time meaningful, memorable, but all the experience I had was for nothing... at least in knowing what it meant to take the virginity of the woman who meant everything to you and giving her a night she would never forget for all the right reasons. I was nervous as all shit about messing this up. I knew Roza, and I knew the consequences. If I didn't give her the time of her life I was throwing my career and everything else away. No quantity of affection for me would stop her from reporting me if she felt as though I had wronged her, as if I had moved too quickly. I needed to let her know I was attached to her more than anyone else. I needed to make her feel the sparks she deserved to experience her first time, the sparks I was currently feeling, the ones that were making my stomach do backflips while swirling in pleasure and desire, hardening my length and accelerating my heart with the desperate need to become one with her, to be completely encompassed by her affection, to fill her with my affection for her.

"Dimitri!" Roza softly moaned in absolute bliss when I held her closer, licking her nipple. "Oh, Comrade...!"
I couldn't stand the desire her ridiculous nickname elicited. It hurt. It always hurt when she called me that. Just like the way her absolutely pure innocent yet incredibly mature beauty hurt me. I had never known a girl or a woman to do this to me and I often spent many sleepless nights wondering if she felt the same.
"Roza... oh Roza..." I continued while I worshiped her body and the strong, attractive, mysterious, scary character held within. "My dearest Roza..." I had never seen such an angelically perfect woman. How did one body manage to be so flawless? How did one body seem to be created for my eyes only, to fit only with mine? How was it as if only Roza, my Roza, could understand me as perfectly as she appeared to be made for me?
"You're the only one, Dimitri," Roza groaned in ecstasy when I licked and kissed the wet lips that barricaded me from her body's most valuable, most sacred area. "The only one to see me like this!" Roza gasped when I nipped in request. I needed to taste her. I needed her to know no one else could pleasure her in the way I could when she gave me the permission to. There was an undeniable heat that wrapped around us and an electricity that crackled between us.
"Like what, Roza?" I asked in feigned innocence, in a lust-and-affection-thickened accent.
"This!" she squeaked in frustration and need, want. "Naked- and just taste me already!"
"Oh?" I murmured before licking between her hyper-sensitive, innocent lips. "How naked have you been before?"
"I shower naked, you fool!" she teased. "But you're the first one to see me without a bra... the first to see me completely naked."

...

I looked back into her bottomless brown eyes and saw the decision in them before she nodded. I reached behind her and removed the necklace. ...