Chapter One: The Best Piece Of Trash (Bill's POV)

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I yawn waking up looking at my alarm clock "5:40, huh ten minutes before I need to wake up" I say sitting up grabbing my glasses putting them on. I toss my blanket off to the side and stumble to my feet feeling my head thump "fuck, alcohol at 2 am isn't smart" I say walking to my closet holding my head. I open and walk into my walk in closet grabbing a button up, a sweater, and a bow tie walking out holding them in my arms carefully so they don't get wrinkled. I pull my button up on and button it to the top flipping the collar up tieing my bow tie neatly, I then grab my sweater and pull it over my button up. I start to walk out of my bedroom then remembering "I need pants" I chuckle walking to my dresser grabbing a blue pair of jeans slipping them on and buttoning them. I tuck in my shirt and walk out of my room into the bathroom, I grab a toothbrush and tooth paste starting to brush my teeth slowly. The only sound coming from the brushing, I spit and wipe off any toothpaste that landed on my mouth. All I could pretty much taste was the alcohol I had four hours ago, I scratch my head walking out into the kitchen. "Hm Pitt cola cereal or boring cereal?" I slowly grab the Pitt cola cereal and a bowl.

I pour the cereal into the bowl and grab the milk, I read the expiration date. Oh two months old, might as well just eat it on the road. I pour the cereal into a baggie and grab my suitcase walking out the door to my car. I sigh taking a second and leaning against my car, I look up at the cloudy skies unlocking my door and climbing in tossing my briefcase in the back seat and my bag of cereal in the the cup holder.

I start up my car turning on the radio hearing one of my favorite songs come on, Halloween by Jon Bellion. I put on a small smile and pull out of the driveway driving towards the studio looking around this small beautiful town. I look and see the hotel and diner next to Dipper's small house on the edge of the woods, I need to request another interview from him. He's interesting, mysterious, and honestly I've come to like him alot I sip my coffee putting a handful of cereal in my mouth as I pull up to the studio. I grab my briefcase and hop out of the car walking up to building seeing my college intern is already here.

"Hello Mr. Cipher" I look over at my blonde intern sitting at the receptionist desk "Hello Pacifica." I nod my head towards her and walk into the main studio where all the magic happens. "Sir today is a short day is it not?" Pacifica asks grabbing my briefcase for me "yep after I do the callers questions." I answer stretching walking into the booth grabbing my headphones looking up to Pacifica who starts counting down from time. "Well it's show time Bill" I say to myself as I turn on the light making the show live. "Hello Gravity Falls! Welcome to a very nice a chilly Tuesday, thank you for everyone who is here listening to the show today." I say looking at how many are listening smiling at it. "That's alot of people, even for a school day we have that many, man are schools letting my show being broadcasted now?" I chuckle looking at my papers today "tonight at the Pines hotel make sure you come to catch Mabel Pines, beloved singer of this great town." I say tossing that paper "anyways today for the show we are gonna talk about a few things, from the new mall being built to callers questions."

I sip my coffee as we're on commercial while a song plays "Pacifica clear my schedule for later, I'm gonna go visit a friend" I say getting a nod from her. I clear my throat turning the mic on "and we're back everyone! So it looks like that time for callers questions" I say looking to my laptop seeing a ton of callers. "Hm let's start with Brian, you're on Brian" I lean back in my seat "Hello, have you ever thought of doing live shows like at a festival or something?" He asks as I think. "Actually I have but haven't had the opportunity of doing so." I click on another caller "Jessica you're on" I sip my coffee "oh my god! Hello! Have you ever thought of using a camera to record your beautiful face while doing the show?!!" She shrieks into my ear making me deaf. "No I have not Jessica, maybe someday" I choose another "ok Christopher shoot" I look at my watch. "Ya why are you so trash?" He asks as I look at his name "Um what?" I say straightening my glasses. "You're probably the worst radio host ever, and I came from California" he says.

I laugh "Well Christopher, I may be a trash radio host. But I'll tell you what, I'm the best piece of goddamn trash ever to live!" I say closing my laptop. "That's all the time we have today, catch the show tomorrow for the best piece of trash ever!" I chuckle turning off the show.

"Hey Pacifica call Mr. Pines, I'm making a visit."

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