I Just Wanna [HIATUS]

Regret

I looked away. Not because I wanted to, but because even though she was looking at me, her eyes showed something.
Sadness.
I couldn't stand it. I just couldn't.

I looked back at the teacher who was still talking about Greek theatre.

I still felt her eyes on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her.

So I did the next best thing. I plugged in my earphones in my phone and played, 'I remember' by Bang Yongguk ft. Yoseob.
Yes, I love kpop.
I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift to two weeks ago.

I heard the breaking of a window. I immediately got out of bed and grabbed a bat from behind the door. I put on my crocs and went towards my sisters room to check up on her.
She was by a corner when I walked in by the looks of it, she was scared. I went towards her, and upon touching her, she flinched under my touch but as soon as she looked up and saw me, she extended her arms towards me. I took her small body and put her in her closet.
"Wait here for me okay? I'll be right back." She gave me a longing look but then nodded.

I turned my back on her and went towards the door, exiting quietly.
I heard shuffling downstairs and I tightened my grip on the baseball bat and peeked a little.
There, I saw my mother. She smelled like alcohol, and her stumbling confirmed it that she was, in fact, drunk.
Knowing what was to come if she found me, trying not to make a noise, I turned around and accidentally hit the wall with the bat and I froze. There was no more noise and I faced the remains of my so called mother.
She looked disgusting.
Her eyes held nothing but desire, probably for money only. However, they changed when we made eye contact. They were full of sadness and anger.

She made her way towards me as I took a step back.

"How are you my darling? Where's Melanie? I want to see her." She tried smiling.

By this time I was furious.
"Leave Melanie alone. She's not going to deal with this bullshit." I spat back at her.

Before I knew it my back was hitting a wall and her hand suddenly reached out and carresed my hair I was too frozen to notice that she tightened her grip on my hair and slapped me across the face, and I went flying towards the floor. She took the chance to kick me in the stomach twice.

"Where does your dad keep his money?" She yelled as she picked me up by my hair.

I couldn't take it anymore and I did exactly what my dad taught me to do when someone decided to put their hands on me.

I grabbed her shoulders and headbutted her in the face. I could feel the blood sliding across my forehead but I paid no attention to it. I grabbed her arm and quickly moved behind twisting her arm but not too much.

"I've had enough with you and Dad constantly fighting. So what if he's a goddamn cheater? You're our mother for gods sake! But I guess it's okay. We've gone three years like this, I'm pretty sure we can go three more."

I didn't let her finish as I pushed her towards the door and threw her out.

I closed the door and locked it. I ran to my room and closed the door and slid down as tears came bursting out.

After a while I went to my restroom and just stood there looking at the mirror.
My eyes were red and puffy and I still had her hand print and there was dry blood on my head.
As I got out a towel out of the closet, something fell out, my blade, I looked at the piece of metal in my hand and was debating.

Should I do it?