CHAPTER 1- BEFORE THE REAPING
I wake up in the morning and 'pour' myself a fresh glass of pee, you see ever since I had a cup with a Hayfart I've been addicted.
I jump out of bed run all the way to the kitchen, OMG IM SO FIT!, and walk out the front door and almost step on my breakfast! Ever since Hayfart left one on my doorstep I've asked him for more and he has given me a freshly baked one every day. I have tried eating my own but it's just not the same. I reach down to pick up the big blob of brown and feel that it's still warm. Hayfart has made a business out of it and goes around at night, (When hes loaded up on pee), around 12 and delivers poo. He's quite good at baking it. Everyone pays him $2 every time he leaves one and when you count it up hes making like $100-$150 a week!
O-M-G I like so totes forgot to tell you! well like anyway the Capitol was all like grr because I used the handbag again and then the districts (MA HOMIES) stood up for me and now the Capitol and the districts are like having this full on fight over facebook like I saw a status district 2 posted
'OMG I HATE TWO FACED PEOPLE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIDE TO SLAP FIRST!'
And then District 3 commented
'Aww babe, just remember im always here for you, just inbox me k <3'
And then the Capitol was all like
(WAIT OK SO LIKE DISTRICT 2 WILL HAVE WRITING LIKE THIS (TO REPRESENT WHAT THEY WROTE) AND THEN THE CAPITOL WILL HAVE WRITING LIKE THIS)
IS THIS ABOUT ME BITCH?!?!?1?!
No ofcourse not!
OMG YOU BITCH INBOX, NOW.
Anyway and then I was like all in the capitol at a party and the District 2 mayor was there and the president wad there and this is what happened
Hey!
Hey, those statuses you posted, um, are you like, mad at me?
No! whaaaaat? no giirrrl! omg they were like so for like someone else!
Oh k! ok well I've gotta go like yer byyee!
Cya!
Anyway the capitol is all pissed at me so yer gtg to the reaping now Biyarch Prim OUT!
CHAPTER 2- REAPING, WAIT WHY ARE YOU HERE?!
Anyway going to like the stage now I get a seat like ah so hot anyway omg that ugly district escort effie drugo face. She's all like
"Oi Shuddup you dickheads PRIMBITCH GONNA SAY DA REAPINGS!!"
omg me yayyyyy
Anyway so I like get up and put my hand in the bowl but I accidently knock the glass bowl and it falls off and lands at my feet smashing and im all like bleeding and stuff but you know YOLO! so I just grab a piece of paper I pick it up and say
"JOSEPHINE- wait why are you here?!"
before I can even like finish the last name someone like shoots me in the head and I die.
CHAPTER 3- WAKING UP TO A NEW HOME
I like wake up and I am in some white place so I get up and start to walk out and then I see like a doctor trying to push me back in the room so I punch him in the balls and run away. Anyway so i like walk around and then this ugly bitch is all like
