Slaved

Slaved 1

I closed my eyes the moment I came out from the airport. And totally, nasa Pilipinas na nga ako. I am really here. I was just 5 years old that time nung umalis kami ni daddy papunta sa America. Twenty years rin pala akong nawala.

"I'm finally here." I said that was almost a whisper.

"Chandelier?" Someone called me in my first name. Alam ko kung sino lang ang tumatawag sa akin nung pangalan na iyon. Si mommy lang ang tumatawag sa akin ng ganun. Ayoko man siyang harapin but I need to. Hindi ko siya pwedeng habang buhay na talikuran na lang. If facing her is the only way of being brave then I'll try.

Liningon ko ang direksyon ng pinagmumulan ng boses. Isang kulot na kulay itim na buhok at may baon na ngiti sa mga labi ang nakaguhit sa kanyang mukha ang agad na sumalubong sa akin ng yakap. Hindi pa lang ako nakapagsalita ay agad na niya akong niyakap na para bang sabik na sabik siyang makasama ulit ako. Sorry but the feeling isn't mutual. I'm not pleased meeting her again for twenty years.

Agad akong kumawala sa mga bisig niya. Hindi ako sanay na may yumayakap sa akin ng ganyan. Ni hindi ko nga naranasan, masanay pa kaya?

"I'm sorry, hindi ako sanay na may yumayakap sa akin." Sabi ko nang may nais ipakahulugan. She tries to smile but agad ring napawi yun. I hate to admit na magkamukha talaga kami but that was the hell truth. Pagbaliktarin ko man yung mundo, sa kanya pa rin ako nagmana.

"Well, it's okay. Nauunawaan kita." I just looked at her for a minute before nabaling yung atensyon ko sa lalaking kasama niya na nasa likuran niya ngayon. I guess his on his mid forties just like my dad. He had his gray eyes with a pointed nose. Well he's something that I could compliment a gorgeous one.

"By the way, he will be your Tito Gio, my new husband." I was hurt by her words. New husband? Umasa kasi ako na baka niya ako pinauwi dito sa Pilipinas dahil gusto niyang mabuo ulit yung pamilya namin but I guess I was wrong. Wala nang dahilan pa para umasa ako. I wasn't informed na may ibang pamilya na pala siya.

"Nice meeting you." Sabi ng matandang lalaki in a very manly voice. He extended his hand but tiningnan ko lang ito. I never dared to shook his. Minutes later, binaba niya rin yung kamay niya cause maybe nangangalay na siya.

"I'm tired." Plain na sabi ko towards them. Agad rin namang kinuha ng asawa ni mama yung gamit ko patungo sa kotse saka kami sumakay na. The both of them is the front seat habang ako naman nasa back seat naka upo. Nabaling yung atensyon ko sa mga kamay nilang hawak-hawak ng bawat isa. I looked away.

Halo-halo yung nararamdaman ko ngayon, galit, inis, lungkot at pagkamuhi pero mukhang mas nangibabaw yata sa akin yung galit. For how many years, umasa akong mabubuo pa ulit yung pamilyang ninanais ko. Buong buhay akong nabuhay sa pangungulila tapos siya? Masaya kahit wala ako, kahit wala kami. Paano niya nagawang masaya kahit alam niyang may pamilya siyang nangungulila sa kanya?

Now I know why I really hate this woman to the point that I am cursing her to death. Naawa ako sa daddy ko. Minahal ba talaga siya ni mommy? She looked at me then smile. Wala akong pinakitang reaksyon. I was back with my old self.

"By the way, how was your life in America, Chandelier?" I grimace when she called me Chandelier. It's not my name. It's not my name anymore simula nung iniwan niya kami.

"It's Vain, don't call me Chandelier. I'm not use to it, matagal ko nang kinalimutan yang pangalan yan." Pagsisimula ko. I sighed bago ulit magsalita.

"I'm happy with the life that my father had given me. He may not always at my side but he never dares to leave me. For almost twenty years, nasanay na akong wala ka mommy." I emphasized the word mommy. Baka kasi naklimutan na niya yung kahulugan ng salitang yan.

"Ikaw mommy, how's the life of being married...again?" I smiled at her. A smile that didn't reach my eyes. She looked tensed. Siguro naman, she understand what I mean.

"Oh never mind mom. We have a lot of time para pag-usapan natin yan."

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It's already 3:55 when we finally reach our destination. Agad kaming sinalubong ng mga mades pagdating namin sa mansyon. Hinihilot ko pa yung sintido ko bago ako bumaba dahil sobrang pagod ko sa biyahe.

"Mommy!" Yan yung tawag na narinig ko pagkapasok ko palang sa mansyon. Nakita ko si mommy na may karga-kargang batang babae na sa tanto ko ay four years old na. Nakikita ko yung sarili ko sa batang karga-karga niya when I was with her age. She's really a little version of me.

The little girl laugh in the arms of my mom. The view of the two of them who are happily hugging makes my blood boil and jealous at the same time. She loves the little girl the way she forgot to love me as hers. Tumingin sa akin yung batang babae and as always wala akong pinakitang emosyon.

"Mommy? Who is she?" Turo pa niya sa direksyon ko. Lumingon naman si mommy then smile at her. She released the little girl from their hugged then lumapit sa akin.

"She's Chan-- Vain. Diba gusto mo ng sister?" Tanong pa niya sa bata. I rolled my eyes even though hindi nila nakita. But who says I wanted a little sister? Buong buhay ko, hiniling ko lang na magkaroon ulit ako ng ina at hindi instant kapatid sa ibang lalaki.

"So she's my ate Chanvain?!" natutuwang sigaw ng batang babae tapos hinug pa niya si mommy.

"Where's my room? I'm tired mom." Walang ganang tanong ko. Enough with this drama. All I want is to be alone. I wanted to cry without anyone seeing me. Today is so much for me.

"Let's take our dinner first Vain."

"I already lost my appetite." The last thing I said before a made leads me to my room upstairs.

I hate you mom! I hate the woman who gave me birth. I hate her from leaving me, for making me incomplete, for making my life one of a hell. Paano niya nagagawang mahalin ang anak niya sa ibang lalaki samantalang ako na legal niyang anak ni hindi man lang niya minahal? Ni hindi man lang niya nagawang kumustahin ako sa loob ng dalawampung taon.