Grandma has gone, I woke up with puffy red eyes. My tears has run dry, i grab my guitars and sing in every song appear in my mind now.
*KNOCK...KNOCK...KNOCK...KNOCK....*
"Ika, Grandma's funeral at 11am and now is 8 so please get ready" Joe's spoke i can hear the sadnest in his voice everytime he said grandma. "Okay" my voice croaked and then he left. I went to bathroom and take a short shower, I grab the same dress i used at Grandpa Pierre funeral two years ago. The dress still match with her after two years, now grandma and the who again? I'm not in mood used make up. My hair is very mess and everything.
"Hey dad" i spoke and kiss his cheek. "Hey honey" he spoke with not sleeping a day face. I know its very hard for him, he just away for 4.5 years and not able to see his mother and he missed his father funeral too two years ago. Grandma Joan died at age 71, and grandpa at age 75 two years ago. How i miss the so much.
Mom trying to hug me and i just move away from her, and the she tried again but i still move away from her again "What your problem?!" she shouted "what my problem?! You never care to me! You not even there when she died!! Dont act like you care cos you dont!" I shout back and run to yard, picking a sprig of white roses, her favorite flower . How she went so fast.
We arrived at chruch and there a lot of people with black dress and black suit. I saw Jake there and he just sent me a smile. The worship has began and people come towards her and speech. "Ika, do you want go to podium?" My dad asked, I still holding the white rose "y-yes" i spoke and stand up.
I walk towards her and slowly make my way towards her coffin. Holding her hair, wiped her face. I bent down to kiss his forehead, kiss one last time. Slid the white rose into her hands. "I Love you, Grandma Joanna" I whispere, i know she can't hear me but i just want her to know that.
"My name is Ika, I've known her for my whole life. I grow up with her love, she is my rock, my grandma, my inspiration to singing, she is my best-friend, my everything. She now lay in peace there, look at her how beautiful she is. She is the one i want stop for drugs, for fighting and for everything i've done wrong. I'm change for her, she said 'I want my little Ika back, can you bring her back. My little angel to back' That's why i want change for her, i am. I am so happy that she make her promise that she'll come to my school talent show and she did. But then she taken out. She want me to continue my life without her. But its will be very hard without her, Grandma Joanna there you smiling at me on your way to Heaven with Grandpa Pierre waiting for you in the gate, I miss you and I love you" I spoke wipe my tears and walk back to dad.
I look at the grave "Here Lay Our Beloved Mother and Grandmother, Joanna Kaitlyn Hart. She gone with very beautiful scar in our heart, but we have our blessed and love with her"
To: Jake Adams
I'm sorry but, i think i'm really need time to be alone. I need to eject people from my life for a while. Ika x
From : Jake Adams
You breaking up with me?
To : Jake Adams
Im sorry, i really am yes Im breaking up with you
From : Jake Adams
What? But I love you,Ika
To : Jake Adams
I love you too, we can still be friends if u want to
From : Jake Adams
But i want more than friends. but okay, as long as i still can visit you and walk with you
To : Jake Adams
Okay x
I walk down the street, I'm leaving the cemetery alone withou my mom, my dad even my brother. My sister Bec, she don't come because i she busy with her work.
My room, open my twitter @SwastikaCarter Grandma Joan you is my rock. Love you and stay safe there waiting for me, Ika xx :'(
@beeeckyCarter : @SwastikaCarter I'm sorry, wish i were there now. Grandma is my rock too :'(
@SwastikaCarter : @beeeckyCarter dont ever say dat she is ur rock! cos u arent Bitch! I hate you!!!
@beeeckyCarter : @SwastikaCarter she is Ika! why does u hate me? coz am not der? what the f!
What the hell!
I sleep with guitar in my side on bed.
