I sat covered in blood on the dentists chair. The bespectecaled man circled me like an enraged shark. "where is it boy?" I looked at him. Dr. Jekyll was his name. yeah, yeah i know that was the name of the man who turned into a ginormous beast. this guy didnt, he just had the formula to make you turn into one. Well at the moment he didnt. I had it. " i have no idea what youre talking about." he smiled at me showing rows of crooked teeth. i chuckled to myself. "you really are an ugly bastard" his smile dropped. he lunged forward and stabbed me with a scalpel between my ribs. it really was painful. " Christ!" i keeled over. "there was no need for that Jekyll" he put his face right up next to mine, "Tell me where it is." i smiled, "No" he punched me square in the jaw. i felt a tooth loose in my mouth. "I will only ask you once more. where is the formula?" i couldnt resist it. i spat my tooth, along with a lot of blood at his face. i saw it in his eyes, he snapped. he lifted a saw above his head. he brought it down. now you might be thinking 'oh no the handsome hero has been defeated!' but you probably arent, because i'm not handsome, or a hero. i just got caught up in some crazy shit. It started when i was at butlins....
Right, so you picture butlins as 'fun for all the family!' rather than 'get trampled by a drugged up mutant giant!' i mean, unless you count that as fun for all the family (i dont). i was in the pool having hours of endless fun with the big floaty sausages and i see this repulsive fat bloke drinking god knows what. he looked very drunk. he necked a pint of browny green liquid and i just stared at him. big mistake. if your parents tell you not to stare, don't. otherwise you'll end up covered in sick with a bone sticking out of your arm. as i was staring at him he turned on me, quick as lightning. his veins started bulging out of his head. there must have been steroids in that drink of his because he looked like he was about to explode. i turned away because he started grinning like a madman. i dived under the water, for some reason there were loads of bubbles, more than usual. i heard a drowned out scream and then i saw him igrabbed my floaty and ran from the 10 foot supersized bodybuilder that was charging towards me. i mean he was massive, like elephant sized. i tried sprinting but realized that from just emerging from the pool i was soaking wet. i saw people flying in every direction. i waddled for my life. i decided it might be a good idea to throw the floaty at mr. Elephant. turns out throwing your pool toy at a murderous psychopath is not a good idea. it made him mad, and if you thought he was angry before, he just entered ultimate rage mode. i turned to actually look where i was running. and a surprise table appears! "bollocks!" i tried to roll over it which was not very effective, i kind of just crashed into it. i sighed with relief. then the big guy appeared and stands on my arm. now if you've never been stood on by a 20 ton man then you might want to know how it feels. it bloody hurts. more than being stabbed in the ribs with a scalpel. i looked at the affected area and boy was it a mess. and then i did the most unheroic thing possible. i puked all over myself. now dont judge me. if you were in shock and were staring at your own forearm bone, im pretty sure you would have done the same. I would have passed out if I hadnt been scared shitless by the sound of heavy breathing right behind me. I got up and started waddling again, I ended up sort of running and skidding along the poolside. with the bone sticking out, I had to keep my arm straight to avoid any more pain. I saw a lighthouse shaped building, must have been were they looked out for drowning kids. I ran through the entrance and scrambled up the dusty steps. I turned to check how my big friend was doing. as he charged up the steps he barely fit in. he was squeezing himself in, he must have been very determined to kill me. he literally obliterated the steps under his weight. I reached the top and it did look like an actual lighthouse. there was a giant light in the centre which gave me an idea. I scurried round to the side of the light. there was a giant switch which was was really rusty. the man smashed through the floor and I pulled the switch with one hand. the giant man realized what was happening and turned towards the light. he looked blinded but that wasnt the plan. the plan was, that he would see the light, stumble back and fall off the edge of the lighthouse like I saw in a film once. that didnt happen. he was shielding his eyes. he must have still been blinded. I had to finish him. funnily enough I had never killed a man before but it was easier when I remembered he was trying to kill me. 'In case of fire' axes really come in handy when killing a mutated psycho. I plunged the axe deep into the back of his head. yes there was some brain. and yes I did the most un heroic thing ever. again. I threw up on this guy though this time so it made me feel better. I looked down at my arm. I need a hospital. fast.
I walked through the automatic doors, welcomed by a blast of cool air. i was suddenly calm. then a boy in a parka came out of nowhere and crashed into me. we both crashed to the ground and I landed on my arm "Shit!" I rolled over onto my back and looked up. the boy had already got up and picked up his..... was that a gameboy? yeah. weird. "are you ok?" he said. he had a slight accent, Italian maybe. he held out his hand to help me up. I took it. I jumped to my feet and looked around and half of a &e were looking at me. I realized I was bleeding a lot out of my arm. some nurses approached me. and pushed me away towards a corridor. I looked back at the boy and he just waved unenthusiastically. I looked at the corridor ahead. I saw a young woman being pushed along in front of me. she was breath takingly beautiful. I overheard the name. "rory daniels.".it was a nice name, but I had a feeling I wouldn't be seeing her again. they pushed me into a small room, which looked like a normal doctors clinic. we went through another couple of doors and they sat me down. they were very forceful, they literally shoved me down onto the bed. the woman injected me with something and then everything was blurry like all the events mixed into one. that might have been the reason for the trauma attacks. a heavily built man stepped into the room. he didnt look like a doctor. thats because he wasnt. he pulled out a gun. the injection made everything look like a watercolour painting I got up and moved towards him. I was drowsy. I moved like a zombie. the man shot me. twice. I fell to the ground. I dont remember anything after that. I blacked out after the first gunshot. I just remember being wheeled through the hospital. I think I woke up in the operation. I think I remember them pulling two bullets out of my chest. certainly remember them pushing my bone back into my arm. and I thought feeling it coming out was painful.
when I woke up from my deep slumber properly I saw the boy sat next to my pink-haired sister amy. the boy approached my bed and smiled. "I dont think we were properly introduced. i'm leo." he held out his hand to shake mine then he realized I couldn't move properly. I spoke in a slurring voice like I was drunk. "i'm Felix." he laughed. "welcome back to the real world, Felix" some old music was playing on the radio behind him. amy smiled and jumped up from her seat. she approached my bed.
