Four Short Years.

Nightmares

I was walking through the park, everything seemed so peaceful. Children were swinging on swings and their parents were watching and laughing along with their kids. I remember thinking to myself a million times over, this is what I want in the future. I want kids and a beautiful family with the one I love. I want to be a successful parent and my children will tell me anything. Not like my parents who are divorced and remarried. My mother is so caught up in her new husband that she doesn't even look at me let alone listen to a word I say. She doesn't care what I do as long as I don't get into trouble. My father on the other hand needs me home right after school to clean the house from top to bottom every day. But yet he expects me to join sports and be athletic. What else would you expect from an alcoholic? His new wife is a little more lenient and of all four of my parental figures I get along best with her. I have only known her for a little over a year so I can't quite tell her everything. As I am almost to the other side of the park I see this boy who I have been crushing on for a while. Just yesterday he asked me to come over to his house for lunch to which I gratefully said yes. Towards the end of the lunch hour he pulled me close to him and kisses me, I wasn't expecting tounge. This is the first time I have made out with anyone. I started to push him away and asked why he did that and he told me that he wanted me in his life so we walked back to the school together hand in hand. The next day he asked me to have lunch at his house again. I said yes of course. Half way there he remembered his dad was still home and so we decided to just sit at the park and watch the kids play, he had other plans though. He threw me down right there and stuck his hand down my pants while covering my mouth all at the same time. I couldn't yell, not with how strong he was holding me down. His weight crushed me, he must have been twice my size. He started forcing my hand down his pants to which I was trying my hardest to fight. He was a lot stronger than me, I had given my first hand job and was being forced to do it. He then unzipped his pants and at this point I was crying in both fear and anger. He slid my pants down just barely and ramed his self into me over and over again. I was trying to scream, trying to fight, he was much bigger than I was. One of his hands on my mouth pushing down very hard, the other holding himself up a little bit. All of his weight was on me though. I was being raped. Then I woke up crying, shaking, kicking, and nobody seemed to notice. These nightmares had been going on every night for the past two weeks. Two moths ago the nightmare had been true. I hadn't closed my eyes once since the whole thing happened it seemed like. And finally complete exhaustion took over and I closed my eyes for the first time two weeks ago. That had been the first time in about a month and a half I had closed my eyes for more than an hour. Every time I closed my eyes I was in a nightmare. They were all different but the ending was the same. I had been raped.