Baby this is paradise (Completed)

Chapter 13

Triggering to some
Irises pov

It was Payton and i's birthday today, but nobody is really up. it's like 4 in the morning. I couldn't sleep. I just feel so bad for everything. Andrew stayed the night also. he was in my bed but I was on my floor crying. I can't help but feel like that my dads death was my fault. with every passing moment I cry harder. my mind wandered. something in my mind just clicked. I got up and ran to the bathroom and I locked the door. I grabbed a new shaver and I pick one of the blades out. I think for a moment. is this really worth it? after being clean for over ten years? god I hope so. I pull down my pants and I hold the blade to my already scared thy. I take my first cut. its shallow, but I know I can go deeper. I make a couple of more cuts, all a little more deeper than the last. I moved on to my other thy. I make a nice gash and I felt the blood drip. I make smaller cuts around the big one that I had just made. I look at the art work that I created on my skin and I smile. Defiantly worth it. I pull the blade away and I drop it on the floor. I probably had a total of 15 cuts on each leg. I lean my body up on the tub and I feel myself bleed. the blood dried up so I took some toilet paper and I cleaned myself, flushing it down when I was done. I unlocked the bedroom door and I walked quietly back into my room. to which I cried even more. I felt myself starting to get another panic attack.

'Hey guess who's back.' the voice inside my head said.

Oh great, that's just what I needed, note the sarcasm. I tried to ignore it. My breathing quickened and so did my heart rate. I held my head in my hands and I rocked myself. this went on for about ten minutes before I felt somebody wrap their arm around me. I looked over and saw that it was Andrew. he sat on the ground and pulled me into his lap. He rocked me as I cried. I calmed down after a while and I was now just sitting in his lap with a sniffle here and their.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I bluntly said.

I'm still not convinced that he has changed. He just sighed and placed his chin on my head. we sat for a little while before I heard him snore. I got up carefully and I grabbed my phone and pulled up Tony's number. I put the phone to my ear and I heard the ring. after a moment, I heard Tony's voice on the other end.

"Hey, why are you still up?" he asked sleepily.

"I couldn't sleep, did I wake you up?" I asked.

"Yea but it's fine." he replied.

"Are you over at Jaime's?"

"Yea why, whats wrong? you sound like you have been crying." he sounded concerned.

"I really don't want to explain it now, mind if I come over?" I asked.

"Yea sure."

"I will be right over." I finished, hanging up the phone.

I put my phone in my pocket and I quietly made my way to Jaime's apartment, using my phone for light. once I got their, it like a ten minute walk, I went and knocked on the door. a moment later it opened and I saw tony their. I instantly have him a hug, he hugged me back. I felt a tear threaten to fall.

"What's wrong iris?" he questioned.

"I just can't help myself. I feel so bad because of my dad. he didn't deserve to die, he just needed help." I whispered the last part.

He pulled away and I walked in. he shut the door behind him. I sat on the couch and sighed. tony came over and sat next to me, turning in Netflix. he put a blanket around us and I leaned my body on his. he put his arm around me. we watched for a little while before I felt myself daze.

Authors note
OMG 501 VEIWS ON MY KISSING RAZORS!!!!! I have a little bit of this book planed out but I would love some ideas!!! vote comment or message me!!! love you turtles!!!!