The Model Father

Chapter 14

Jun stood just outside the glass door of Beaux Monde, hesitating to get inside. He wondered when did he ever feel so nervous to meet up with a woman before, totally not his character. But there he was, nervous for the first time in a long time. Guilt. He realized it now. He's feeling guilty. Should he feel guilty at all? He cocked his head as he contemplated on that theory, but before he could think any more deeply about it, a bike messenger walked past him, mumbling an “excuse me”. Taking a deep breath to summon up courage, he caught the door just before it closes after the messenger, and went in.

He could've sworn the office stood still as he entered. Conversation between brokers and on the phone seemed to stop, the clicking of the computer keyboard paused, and all eyes seemed to stare at his direction. Jun looked side-to-side, then everything seemed animated again. He frowned. Must be his imagination. He stopped in his tracks when the woman he had dreaded to see was frowning at him. He took a deep breath once more, then walked up to her desk.

“Estelle, you look rather beautiful today,” he said, using his most dazzling smile. Estelle, with unkempt hair and melting make up, continued to frown at him. “I haven't seen you in awhile,” Jun continued. He sat down on the chair in front of her desk.

“Where the hell have you been?” Estelle said, finally puffing out the cigarette smoke. “I've been trying to call you. I couldn't reach you for 3 fucking days.” She pointed an accusing finger at him, her frown lines sunk deeper, making her face craggier if that were ever possible. “You had better have a good excuse.”

“Jet lagged?”

“You think I was born yesterday?”

Jun held up his hands in defeat. “Okay, sorry. I just had some personal stuff to deal with.”

“Yeah? Well, explain why I couldn't reach you at home and your cell.”

“I stayed over at my best friend's apartment and forgot to take my cell phone charger. Sorry.” Jun hung his head for effect, looking his eyes upward to see if she believed him.

“That's a sorry ass excuse!”

“Okay, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you.” Jun sighed. “So, you have something for me?”

Estelle didn’t answer him, but she shuffled the papers in her desk drawer and pulled out a folder. She set it down in front of her with a thud that startled Jun, and she started riffling through stacks of papers inside. She pulled out a go-see request from Calvin Klein, an advertising go-see for Levi's, and a photo shoot with Russell James for Men's Health. Jun's eyes widen at all the opportunities.

“These were done three days ago.” Those words from Estelle deflated his excitement. Jun gaped at her, and blinked. “If you had answered your phone, you would've at least gotten one of these. But you didn't.” She shrugged and collected them back, ceremoniously threw them in the trash bin under her desk.

Jun sat there, feeling a bit mixed up. He had come by to see Estelle because in those three days, he thought hard about what he really wanted to do. It had been three days ago that he came home to find an empty apartment, his nephew going to God knows where, and Mao, the woman he had come to fall in love with walking out on him angrily. That night after partying at some random club in SoHo with Nari, he had camped out on Shun's living room couch, intent on having a self-pity party but as expected of his best friend, Shun made him think about what he really want by asking him thought-provoking questions.

“Seriously, you can't just live on my couch forever,” Shun had said the next afternoon. He had just come home from work to find Jun still lying on the couch, watching TV mindlessly. Shun took the remote control from the coffee table and shut the TV off.