Dangerously In Love (n.h)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The morning passed ever so slowly. I was getting so impatient. I needed this talk with Niall and time felt against me. I was anxious and nervous. But then at the same time I wanted time to go slowly. How was I supposed to explain to him what I meant by saying he wasn’t special?

What did I mean by that? I can’t think of one reasonable explanation for my words. I don’t know what I was thinking when i said it. And I certainly didn’t expect him to hear me. 

Ugh, how do I explain this to Niall? 

I walked into english and made my way to my seat where Niall was already seated. He gave me a nod then turned away. My heart dropped a little and it had me confused. I mean, I understand why he’s mad at me, I understand why he can’t look at me. But what I don’t understand was my reaction to his reaction.

I didn’t know how to act after that. Like, should I try to talk to him? Or should I just leave him alone? I just didn’t know. So, I just sort of compromised. I didn’t talk to him but I kept turning to him whenever he’d look my way. But he’d always turn back around once he catches my eyes on him. And that’s how it went for the rest of the class. 

Suddenly the bell rang and i started to dread the lunch hour. How are we going to do this? I packed up my stuff and shoved them into my bag and turned to Niall. He was already all packed and waiting for me with reproachful eyes. I sighed and draped my bag over my shoulder.

Neither one of us spoke first. We just stood there, staring into each other’s eyes almost challenging each other to speak first. I wanted to speak first but I just didn’t know what to say to him. 

“Let’s just go sit outside.” He muttered and made his way to the door. 

We walking silently side by side to my table outside the buildings. I could feel Cindy’s excited eyes, and Jared’s narrowed eyes watching us as we walked past them in the cafeteria. I gave them a noncommittal shrug and continued to walk with Niall. 

When we reached the picnic table, Niall immediately sat down with his elbows leaning on his knees. He stared down at his feet. I stood awkwardly to the side, silently watching him to see if he would start talking. After a while his blue eyes looked into mine and he patted the spot next to him. I sat down beside him with an amount of space in between us. When he didn’t say anything I sighed aloud.

“Niall.” I started. “I didn’t..”

“You didn’t what?” He said bitterly. “Mean it?”

“No, I didn’t mean it.” I said defensively.

“Then why say it? What were you avoiding?” He said as he turned his whole body to face me.

“I-” I started to say but then I realised I don’t have anything to save me. “I don’t know.”

“Look, Georgia, that shouldn’t have bothered me as much as it should but it does.” He closed his eyes. “And I don’t want that.” He whispered.

I leaned forward and pressed a hand to his cheek and he opened his eyes. “Niall.” I murmured.

Then his eyes flared and he stood up abruptly. “We can’t do this, Georgia!” He shouted. “We can’t keep acting like we don’t have a whole different life out there. We can’t just keep acting like we’re together when can’t! I don’t want to kill you and if we continue this I will have to.” He paused. “Maybe I do have to.”

My eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

“Georgia, would you think I’m crazy if I said you are important to me?” He said with his back to me. I took a sharp intake of breath. I opened my mouth to speak but I didn’t know how to answer him.