Things that keep me up at night

2. Kisses

I would slap the living daylights out of you, for various reasons. I don't like to beat around the bush, so let me just tell you I would kill you for not kissing me every time we stare too long, or every time you hug me and then just turn away like I'm not having a mental breakdown just beneath the surface. I would torture you the same way it still makes me scream when I think of that time last winter when I was cold and you, being the gentleman that you are, gave me your sweater, that swallowed me in it's knitted holes. And you were too close, a breath away, when your arm was around me and you had the perfect view towards my cleavage, you asshole; we stared way too long and we were so close that now, writing this, I might lose it. And you bastard did't do anything! And your girlfriend will never know the way you are to me because talking to her, you held me so close, I felt like a radiator, but now I just feel dirty. And every day when you talk to me, when you look at me, your eyes flicker down, to my lips, and I can't help but smile because you could have had it all, but you're a blind dickhead. The nights we spent, the days, every moment you could have kissed me, you had endless opportunities; I would have given you sloppy, salty kisses and sweet, tea tasting kisses and I would know now how to breathe when you get so close, every damn time. But you didn't, so I don't. You lose, I lose, until there's nothing else to be lost and I'm tired of finding shit to lose. I'll just go find my kiss somewhere else.