For the first time in about 6 months I have finally written part of a chapter of one of my other books. I am currently very stuck on what I want to happen in this book, I have no real path for this one and because of that this book has to come last. I can give you 10 different real reasons that I can promise you I'm not making up of why I haven't written but none of them can tell you how truly sorry I am for neglecting this book as well as my others. I really want you all to know that I have been having some personal problems lately and trying to deal with them all at the same time write was causing me to break down. Over the past 2-3 months every time I tried to write I have felt sick to my stomach. I'm not sure if it is because I feel guilty for not writing or if it was because I have so much going on in my life that needs to be done but the one thing I really want to do (write) I suck at.
For all of you wattpaders that are on here to read and that don't write I need to explain something to you. When an author writes a chapter of a book 99% of the time the chapter has been backspaced and changed only to be changed again and again and half the time you end up with your original idea. This makes you feel as though your writing is repetitive, unoriginal and most of all like you are just reading word off a piece of paper (computer screen). When your reading a book that isn't yours, it all flows the words just make sense and have been turned into a beautiful book. Reading your own word for the billionth time just turns into words on a page that you feel as though don't make sense, or don't belong. You feel like you have used that same word too many times or the phrase you want to use has already been overused throughout the book. All these things put together make you doubt your writing an your skills and to you, it turns your writing boring.
I'm truly sorry for making you think this was an update and I'm even more sorry for not updating. I will continue trying to write myself out of this mess but I can't promise anything.
Thank you to everyone that actually read this, and to anyone that has stuck around/kept this book in their library xx
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