27 July
This is my side of the story!
My name is Megan but all you of you reading this might know be better as the outgrown coat, or the ex best friend. Your probably wondering why and how am I writing on this blog, but don't worry we will get to that in due time.
I've grown up a lot over the past few months, I've needed to become more independent mostly because I'm always on my own. I have a secret and I have no one to turn to. I used to always be able to confide in Penny but now I've made that impossible. I know that Penny feels comfortable to talk to you all, you all help her become a better person as she helps you all too so I decided if she could do it, maybe I could too. That is how I came to be sitting in my large pink bedroom, on my white king sized bed hunched over my laptop.
You're all probably wondering how could I possibly have gotten onto Girl Online's blog, but you're forgetting that I used to be Girl Online, Penny's best friend. I know everything about Penny, I know exactly what password she'd use considering she's being using the same one all her life. Penny's not exactly one to keep her blog all locked up.
Currently Penny is visiting her 'boyfriend' in America. It's been months since I've last spoken to Penny but I can still tell whenever I look at her whatever she's thinking, recently she's been so happy, and this blog and her boyfriend are only part of it. She's learnt how to spread happiness within everyone around her apart from me, I'm lonelier than ever.
I've lost everything, I lost my best friend and everyone around me who I thought were my real friends. All I have left is Ollie(you'll know him as the walking selfie), I mean obviously we are still the most good looking couple in our school but it's not the same. Ollie's gorgeous but I've learnt from everything that's happened that I deserve better. Ollie barely looks at me, he's too absorbed in uploading selfie's to his snapchat story. I used to be the same, my story was never less that 100 seconds per day and the whole school viewed my story but now I that I have more free time to look at the world around me, I appreciate it's beauty more.
I promise I've not suddenly became a hippie, I know that's what you are all probably thinking. I still love practising different hairstyles in my long chestnut hair and experimenting with different makeup looks, recently I've been channeling my inner Marilyn Monroe. Also because no one invites me out anymore after everything I've done, I've finally had enough time and practise to perfect a cat eye and a Smokey eye.
My huge secret, which isn't really unknown is that I've lost everything, but mostly I've lost my best friend. A lot of things have things have changed in my life, especially at home. I've never admitted it before, but i'm jealous of Penny. Not just because of her gorgeous, famous and talented boyfriend who's obviously in love with her. I'm jealous of how she's making her own future and how she knows what shes going to do in life. She'll grow up, becoming a world famous, professional photographer, married to Noah, her husband who will forever be known as the incredible singer who's poetic lyrics makes us all really think about what we are doing with our lives, who makes us want to lives our lifes helping others. They'll live somewhere in Paris, overlooking a river where they'll live with their beautiful children most likely a girl and boy.
I have no idea how my live will turn out. I don't even know where I'll be tomorrow.
The thing I'm most jealous of is her family. In the last year or two, when Penny and I were still best friends, i started to drift apart from her purposely. When I was younger, I used to go to Penny's house every chance I got, just to escape the place I was forced to called home, I would go to see Penny's funny, perfect, loving family(the complete opposite from mines) and I would pretend that they were mine. Stupid, I know but they were all I got. But as I got older, I grew to resent them because they were everything mine was not, even though, I knew Penny used to get embarrased of her family, she didn't realise how lucky she was. I never wanted to stop being her best friend because she was the only person I had left, but it used to hurt whenever I was near her or her home so I started to avoid her, but when that didn't work, I done what was unforgivable, I made myself believe it was the only solution, but in reality it wasn't, the easy solution was to talk to her because she was my best friend, and she would listen. But no, I wanted her to hurt, i betrayed her trust, I ruined her life... or tried to at least. I wanted her to hurt inside, I wanted her to cry as everything in her life fell apart just as I felt betrayed by my parents. What my family done, was unspeakable, and I will never forgive them for that.
Penny what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry, and I know it will never be enough. I deserved a lot more than that delicious milkshake over my head! I just want you to know that I will always cherish our memories, smile at the friendship we had, our bond that I used to think was unbreakable. You won't have to see me anymore as my parents are making me move away, which they think will solve our problems.
Goodbye Penny, Girl Online
XXX
