David Cameron's Pork Addiction

Part 1: The Porkining

'Twas a cheeky day in b8 town when David Cameron shagged a oinker, but w8 m9, dere was and spooky reporker in the bushez recording the whole ting, David scrambled away liek and egg and left the oinker dere defenceless, he man then appeared and stole the pig...

But wat if pig not ded?