Home Study - Rated R

Chapter 30

Not edited.

Russell wiped his oily hands on the towel hanging on the hook next to where he had the blue ford up on the hoist. Shaking his head he knew that it was just a matter of time before there would be nothing more he could to bring the thing back to life. 

Each time he saw this this car he wished that he'd burnt it instead of selling it to the family who bought it for their teenage son. A car that once hummed and almost purred with life was so beaten down now it was just a matter of time. 

It reminded him of how desolate he felt when he lost his wife Robyn. The car had been hers. Her pride and joy. The first car she'd ever bought, scrimping and saving every spare cent so she had a car for her and her son.

It was how they first met. She'd driven the car into his garage and was completely upset as to how she'd been taken for a ride with the piece of junk that was making noises just days after she'd bought it. He'd made her coffee in the office and while they were talking a plan had formed in his mind. 

He'd suggested that she could pay off the amount it would cost to fix the car and offset it by working at the garage in the office. It took some wrangling, she didn't want charity, but in the end he'd convinced her that helping him was going to free up a lot of time for him to work on other cars.

From that day on he saw her. She'd pick up her son and come to the garage in the afternoons and took care of the paperwork. He'd quickly realised that Jac had an aptitude for all things mechanical and started to teach him the ropes of being a mechanic. When he left school Russell organised an apprentiship for him at the garage . 

It was only a matter of time before he and Robyn had become a couple. She called herself a perving granny cougar for dating him but by the time Jax started his apprentiship they'd been happily married for quite a while and there wasn't a day that went by when he wasn't left without breath from seeing her smile.

Outside the garage he and Jax were little more than acquaintances to start with but over time, as Jax saw the love that he had for his mother, he started to accept him more and more. 

Russell grinned slightly at the memory of a lanky, scrawny teen who stood in the doorway of his office and warned him that if he ever hurt his mum then he'd have him to deal with.

He never had that problem. Quite the reverse. They'd fallen into a comfortable living pattern. Maybe too comfortable. They'd become so complacent with everything that really mattered that once it was gone he and Jax didn't know what to do. How to act around one another, what to say. 

They both missed Robyn terribly and it was the night they finally talked, cried, laughed... that they themselves took comfort in one another. 

That night began the healing of his heart but still, here he was, wistful for what may have been... and chasing a girl who was even younger than his male lover. He couldn't help but wonder if he should just walk away. Leave her to her life.

She always had Gavin to fall back on. He'd been obvious in his interest and was most definitely not giving up on Cori. She wasn't joining them for lunch because of a prior date with Gavin.

Gavin.

Just the name had him wanting to punch something. He knew he had no reason to be jealous but he'd believed he'd never care about another woman in any way close to what he'd felt with Robyn and yet here he was, lusting after a woman who, if he'd been a promisuous teen, could easily be his daughter. 

Yeah that didn't seem right. Maybe he should just...

"Russ?"

Jax walked towards him. The concern he felt showing on his face.

"You're thinking about Mum again aren't you?"

Russell smiled a soft smile that didn't reach his eyes as he nodded.

"Every time this car comes in."

"I get it you know. I miss her too. There's not a day that goes by without me thinking about her."

"Me too Jax. I just..." he broke off when a lump formed in his throat.

"You aren't betraying her memory Russ. She'd want you to be happy with someone else."

"I'm happy with you."

"I'm happy with you too but I think that having Cori in our lives completes who we are."

Russell looked at Jax thoughfully, thinking about his words and what they really meant to them.

"You know, you're one hell of a bloke Jax."

"I'm your bloke Russ and now I'm... we're... Cori's as well. Hell Russ. Even her little brother accepts us in her life."

"He's a top kid isn't he?" Russell said with a grin.

"Yeah and if he can be so accepting then maybe it's time you realised that Mum would want you to be loved and to love again. Cori is a damn fine woman Russ. Sure she's a little young in some of her thinking but this isn't the everyday kind of relationship we have here. But look at how she thought of you after dinner ladt night. Russ, if she didn't want a future, if she didn't believe that there was a future with the both of us then she wouldn't have cared about how you felt. I know you won't ever let mum go because I know that I sure as hell won't but you aren't doing yourself any favours, or mum's memory, by letting this car take away your happiness. Tell the kid you can't fix it anymore. Get it out of your life. It's time to live."