Crys's Memories

Prolouge

Being a ghost isn't all that.

No eating.

No using magic.

And you're counted out of the entire wizard population.

Does the Ministry of Magic care about ghosts? Nope.

Do they know I exist? Nope.

The only good parts? You can fly and you can become invisible.

But after a while, that just becomes normal. Flying becomes just as normal as walking.

I'm not sure why I chose to become a ghost- I guess I was afraid of dying. I don't even remember dying, and every time I try, all of my other memories take over, like a tidal wave that keeps someone from swimming to the person drowning in the middle of a sea.

And since I can't recall where I passed, I don't know where to stay. I stop by Hogwarts sometimes, but it feels like I'm invading someone's privacy.

Sometimes, I hid myself and watched dear Harry Potter's potions class with Severus. I love my nephew, even now, when he's already married. He's only seen my once or twice since then, but I've never told him about me being related. 

What? Am I Petunia? No, I'm the third sister. I'm Lily's twin, but I don't look like her at all. We were fraternal twins, and I think that Petunia always felt like an outsider to our family because of that.

I was the sister with black hair instead of brown or red. I had a very strange mix of blue and green eyes. You think I was perfect? No, I was this blob in my imagination. A blob that's afraid of adventure, and blob that isn't cunning but nice. A blob that doesn't have any smarts. A Hufflepuff blob.

I'm Chrysanthemum Evans, and no one, especially after Mrs. Gnilwor wrote down Harry Potter's adventures and finalized it: Harry had one aunt- Petunia. She told the world that I never existed, and I guess me being so anti social made it spread to wizard part of England, too.  So it was like I was never went to Hogwarts.

I guess if I was born braver, I could have had Remus, Severus, and Regulus love me. I would have been in Gryffindor instead of Hufflepuff. I wouldn't have been scared of death and become a ghost.

If I were like Lily, then I would have been perfect.

Maybe it's just what Lily does- makes people feel jealous without intent. I get that Tuney was annoyed and forgotten sometimes. She was the only daughter in the family without  magic. She got in some really terrible fits sometimes, and even broke my wand once.

But overall, I could relate to her more than Lily, even though she was a witch too.

 I really can't remember the last time I felt brave. I just recall insecurity. Life's been like a reverie lately. I'm not sure if that's what it supposed to be for ghosts, Moaning Myrtle never told me anything about that.

Actually, just remembering Myrtle and all of Hogwarts puts a smile on my face. Maybe... it might help pass the time. Maybe, if I try and remember, I might know how I died.