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07. QUIET
It was silent for a brief moment, until I could hear myself gulping. I didn't know what to expect, nor did I know how to react with Eric standing right in front of me. I could've started yelling at him and asking him why he lied to me. I could've used all the energy vested in me to hit him for what he did, but for some reason, I couldn't even bring myself to speak.
Eric, on the other hand, didn't say a word since. He just casually walked pass by me, leaving the grocery bag on the kitchen table while sighing loudly, the anger still vivid on his face.
''I know what you're about to say, and I honestly don't want to hear any of it.'' Sean smiled to himself, deeply inhaling another smoke.
''Good.'' Eric's body rushed over to Sean, and with quick movements, he took the cigarette out of his hands and stubbed it out in the ashtray. ''Then you don't need me saying what kind of an asshole you are.''
Sean took a deep breath, as if he was ready to say another witty sentence and fight back, but he realized that he may have gone too far so he just laid back on the old sofa again, having such an ignorant look on his face as if nothing had ever happened.
I stood in silence and watched Eric returning to the kitchen again. Stone cold, he took two burgers out of the grocery bag and put them on the plates, not bothering to pay attention at how dirty the dishes might've been. After grabbing the plates, he then went back into the living room, handing a plate in Sean's hands before he sat down on the couch right next to him.
None of them started eating, not even a single glance was thrown at the food they were holding in their hands. Tired of everything and sick of the loneliness constantly feeding off them, they were slowly losing their apetite for any kind of food.
''Don't just stand there. I can literally feel you having pity for us and it's making me uncomfortable.'' Eric said, finally taking a bite of his burger.
''I'm sorry.'' I uttered, sitting down on a wooden chair opposite the two of them.
''No, I'm sorry.'' Eric's voice was quiet and somewhat calm. He bowed his head down, ashamed to look me straight in the eyes. ''I'm sorry I lied to you.''
I tried to say something, but it seemed to me that no matter what I said, no matter what kind of sentences I came up with, they would never be good enough to explain how I really felt.
He then looked up, and I felt like he had just read my mind. ''It was something I needed to do, not something I wanted to do.'' He explained. ''I hate lying but I had no choice. It was either that or I could have you looking down on me, and what a mess I've chosen to be.''
''Eric, I'd never do something like that...'' I spoke quietly, trying to assure him that no matter what he did, I will always care about him.
''Maybe.'' He answered, leaving the rest of his burger back on the table. ''But I couldn't take the risk. I couldn't lose another friend.''
Just like that, the silence swallowed everything again. It seemed like it would never stop. Not even a hundred of the strongest voices could be louder than the calmness and serenity that secretly holed up in the walls, not wanting to leave us alone.
And for the second time, I could see that familiar expression on Eric's face. His eyes would look through the surroundings, as if they weren't even there. His smile would fade and his face would appear haggard. It was an expression that appeared whenever he was thinking about something important and dear to him. This time, it's safe to say that he was thinking about Jason.
As much as I know, Eric was the one who didn't have the time to grieve. He was the one who didn't trip on the sorrow because he was looking after the others, making sure that they don't get hurt.
Although he seemed strong and intimidating from the outside, even the bleached hair color contributed to his reputation, but Eric was in fact one of the most reasonable and emotionally stable person. But as time flew by, he decided to suppress the emotion. He had to stay strong for the sake of his friends.
''Eric'', I called, gulping nervously. ''That old house at the beach, where you guys spent most of your time, is it still there?'' I asked, realizing that my tongue worked faster than my own brain did.
Eric smiled, his dimples appearing on the surface of his skin. ''Yeah, it's still there. Why are you asking?'' He furrowed his eyebrows, curious to know what my intentions were.
''I was thinking that maybe we could go visit the place'', I took a deep breath before continuing. ''All of us. Together.''
After those words left my mouth, Sean almost choked on his burger. He squeezed his eyes and looked at me in disbelief. ''Are you serious?'' He the shifted his gaze to Eric, asking him the same question. ''She can't possibly be serious, right?''
We were staring at each other for a couple of seconds, before Eric opened his mouth. ''Why would you even want to go there?''
''I don't know.'' I admit. ''But I feel like it'd be a good thing.''
''How can going back to a murder scene be a good thing?'' Sean growled, crossing his arms in anger.
''It can help you remember the memories you repressed.'' I assured. ''None of you actually remembers what happened that night, right? Maybe going back to that place helps you face your fears, maybe it helps gain back your memory.''
''But what if I don't want to remember?''
''She's right, Sean.''
''What?'' Sean's voice cracked, his lips forming the shape of an o as he blankly stared at Eric.
''She's right.'' Eric repeated his words, leaning his elbows on the knees. ''We can't keep on living like this. This kind of life is doing nothing to us but bringing us more misery and I'm not sure for how long I'm able to live like that, so I'm saying that we should do this. We should go back to that place.''
''You're insane, man.'' Sean fired back, waving his arms in the air.
''Maybe'', Eric said. ''But it's the only thing that might help us, Sean. That's hope smiling right at us and I don't want to throw it away. Jason wouldn't want us to throw it away. Not when we're so close.''
For a moment, everything went quiet again. And it was something I never wished for. You couldn't tell what were they thinking and were did their thoughts go because the quietness was almost tangible. No rustle of clothing, no more voices fighting. Even the breathing was barely audible, and the once loud creaking of the old couch was now completely stilled.
Sean's voice suddenly erupted as he took the burger in his hands. ''Jason wouldn't buy crappy burgers like these either.'' He said, causing both Eric and I to smile widely.
''Seriously man, these are awful. I swear to god if you bought them at the place were Jake works, I insint on a refund.'' He grinned widely, shoving the burger right in Eric's face but Eric just laughed it off and I suddenly felt good again. It was nice seeing them smiling, the happiness somehow embracing me too.
It was one of those beautiful moments in life, you never wish to end.
a/n: ok this chapter was kinda cute and happy and omg i love eric and sean. this is also the moment when shit will start to go down, so get ready for the upcoming chapters. that's where the fun is starting cause this all was just a warm up and a little introduction to what was going on.
i also want to thank all the beautiful people reading this. seriously guys, your support means the world to me and you are absolutely life. you all are my angels and i don't know what i would do without you
