Always there for you

5. Hold on

Adam's POV:

I woke up before Tommy does. I watch him sleeping for some minutes. He looks so cute and peacefull.

'No, Adam, don't think like that again! He's straight!'

I think to myself. I know that I'll make it worse, if I think about Tommy too often. But of course I have to think about him, when I'm with him. And I can't leave, because he needs me.

When I realize, that it's only 9am, I decide to let Tommy sleep a bit longer. He needs some rest, it's the best for him. Fortunately it's sunday, so none of us has to work.

The first thing I do, when I go downstairs, is cleaning the floor in front of the stairs. There was still some of Tommy's blood, which I have to remove, and I have to sweep up the glass splinters.

When I have done that, I pick up the broken picture and put it in an empty cardboard box. Then I walk around in his house, collecting all photos of Liz I could find and put them all in the box. I guess Tommy will be glad to never have to see them again.

In the end I change his laptop homescreen into a picture of me and him. It was easy to crack his password; it was 'Etta'.

Before I start making breakfast in the kitchen, I feed Etta and play with her a bit. I love dogs; I would love to have one, but I wouldn't be able to take care of it, because I travel so much.

I've just finished the second pancake, when Tommy came downstairs into the kitchen. He was already dressed, but still looks very tired, his hair was a mess.

"Good morning, Tommy!" I smile.

"Morning. You're making breakfast? It smells very good! What's in that box over there?"

He points on the cardboard box I placed on the table.

"Just some photos of Liz and stuff that might remind you of her. It's better to forget her, believe me."

"I guess you're right. Thanks, Adam. I'll throw everything away later. But first let's have breakfast! I hadn't had pancakes for a long time!"

I set to plates on the table and placed a pancake on each. After we have eaten we stand up and I ask him:

"Are you feeling better today? I know there was much going on last night and the days before and I want to make sure that you're fine. If I can do something for you, just let me know. Do you want to talk about what you were trying to do last night or I don't know... maybe you want to be alone?"

Tommy's POV:

"No! Please don't leave! I mean, yeah I'm feeling better, but I feel...kind of...safe when you're with me. And about last night.... I promise, I will never try to kill myself again. I was just thinking to much of Liz and then I had this nightmare and I was terrified. I thought there was no other way... but I was wrong. Thank you for making me realize that. Without you I wouldn't be standing here right now. Will you stay over here one more day?"

I felt tears in my eyes. I'd never been that thankful!

"Of course I will. I'd do anything to make you feel better! I'm just happy, your alive and (almost) healthy!"

Adam seems to be very relieved and happy. He smiles and opens his arms for a hug.

Of course I let him hug me. His embraces are so warm and tender, he makes me feel safe all the time.

Then we both sit down on my sofa and Adam asks me again, wether he could do something for me.
I think about it a second and answer:

"Actually yes. Could you sing for me? It always calms me down."

"Sure. Which song do you like?"

"You can choose."

Adam's POV:

Which song could I pick? I want an encouraging song. And maybe a bit love. I don't know... 'whataya want from me'? No, I've already sang it to him last night.

"What about 'hold on'? I suggest.

"I love that. Ok, let's go!"

"Stop! Ain't you play for me?" I smirk.

Tommy smiles back. "Sure, if you want me to." He takes his favourite accoustic guitar, sit down on my right and starts to play.

I start to sing. Although 'hold on' is a Demo song I love it and so does Tommy. He looks so relaxed now, like he gets lost it the music. I on the other hand am watching him playing while singing. His cute face, his hair, that looks so soft, his concentrated look...

No, Adam, not again. Not now!
I think to myself.
If Tommy catchs me staring at him, he might notice, that I like him another way he likes me.

Tommy moves closer to me while playing and leans his head against my shoulder, like he sometimes does on stage.

"...You're born to fly. Just hold on..."

I stop singing. I can't continue, although I want to. Tommy's head on my shoulder drives me crazy. He's so cute, I wanna kiss him so bad. I have to hold back.
I have to!

Tommy stops playing as well. He turnes his head around and lookes into my eyes like 'why did you stop?'

Now I can't hold back myself anymore. I move closer and kiss Tommy gently on his lips.