Terminal

The thing about death is, you don't think about it until you're dying. Wether it's emotionally or physically. Like me, thoughts about death come to me because I am dying. My body is deteriorating. You see, I have thyroid cancer. Also mets in my lungs. Basically tumors that continue growing. I can't live with out an oxygen tank.

I'm simply a side affect. Anyway back to my point on death. I don't fear it nor do I relish it, but I do find it inevitable that I will be dead soon. I'm not sad about it, I'm not sad that I'll be leaving this world. I'm ready, ready to join the vast nothing. I believe there is something after death, not heaven and hell, but something. This something could be oblivion.

My mother says these thoughts are silly because I'm not dying. We both know she's in denial. The doctors said I was dying, my lungs say I'm dying. She needs to accept it like I have. She's trying to make me get out more before I die. Like today she's making me go to a real high school because I need 'friends'.

I walk over to my mirror to view myself, first thing i see are the tubes to my tank, then my brown hair cut short into a pixie cut, my emerald eyes sullen and tired looking, my pale complexion with the faint freckles across my nose and fanning over my cheeks. I chose a knee length black dress that hangs off my boney body and my old black vans with the holes. I ran my hand through my hair and grabbed the oxygen cart and walked out of my bedroom door.

"Sweetie you look so nice." My mom says. "I don't understand why you're making me do this, I'm dying." I deadpanned. "Kai, stop being negative. Please, this is hard on us all. We all love you very much." My mom says tearing up. "Mom I understand that but you can deny the facts. I love you guys too. Now can we head to school please?" I say pleading with her to end this conversation. "Sure thing darling." She says as she walks out the door.

We arrive at the high school and I notice how big it is which equals a lot of walking, which made me realize how weak my lungs really are. "Mom, school involves a lot of walking. My lungs aren't strong remember?" I say pointing to the tubes in my nose. "This is a social experience, mainly to make friends not learn. They've notified the teachers and you're excused to being late." She says chipper. I let out a groan "You thought of every thing didn't you?" I roll my eyes and kiss her on the cheek. "Bye sweet heart!"she yells then pulls away from the curb waving.

Taking deep breaths, or as deep as my lungs allow anyway, I pull open the door entering the school. Walking into the office tugging me tank behind, I gained quite a few stares. It's normal for me. "Oh hi! You must be Ms. Kai?" The lady at the front desk exclaims. "Yes, that is unfortunately me." I say with a little smile. "We'll here's your schedule. But don't worry too much about getting there on time." The front desk lady says with a wink.

I exit the office heading for my home room. Room D208. I feel like someone could have showed me around but I'm on my own. I start down a random hallway. Not seeing it immediately I keep walking. I pull out my schedule and look down at the rest of my classes absentmindedly until I bump into someone. I look up taken aback. The person or shall I say god I bumped into was just that, a god. He had brown hair the swept across his forehead and his eyes where the deepest shade of blue. "I-I I'm sorry. I wasn't look-king." I stutter out feeling flustered. "No, I'm sorry. I should have been more careful. Are you okay?" He asks worry filling his eyes. "Oh I'm fine just can't find my class is all." I say shakily. "It's class d208." I continue. "Oh that's my home room. I'll show you." He says putting an arm lightly around me as if I'd break.

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This is my new story. It's inspired by The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. I hope you enjoy it

-Hallie