It's 2015, what are you doing? Well there's a chance some are smoking a blunt, studying, eating; some may not be eating in hopes to stay the minimum size for our generation, the ones that are with their families; laughing, joking, sharing the events of the day passed by; but maybe their are some that are gone, as soon as they walk in their own home a uncomfortable chill runs down their back & they're out the door again.... Then theirs the kids like me, the ones that aren't like everyone else, the ones that don't get up & play around or fight with the other kids, or can't speak a foreign language to socialize with the Hispanics or Arabians or Indians that constantly get picked on for their culture or the fact of not speaking our language, I'm not like the rest that are brainiacs or can start a conversation from nothing. I believe it's not my fault, but yet it's my past that haunts me & ruins me, by making me feel cornered in; as if I make one wrong move it'll all fall apart, the walls I built, the little strength I have left. Everything will just dismantle, & all of the effort for nothing.
I am one of those kids that have the burning power in the pit of my stomach that wants/ WILL make it to be the first to graduate in my immediate family, I chose not to think of my past because of how far I've come! I want to be better for my future, I want to be able to come out & say Yes I am into girls, so what! I want to start a family with my girlfriend & still be making it big compared to my family that bought hell to me! I will be able to stand against my father & speak for what's right for me. I will be able to tell my brother " You don't own the darkest part of my mind, their will not be a dark part anymore because of you! You will not & can not have a hold on me anymore, after all the pain you've put me through, I will NOT stand for it any longer." Because even though it's not okay.
I'm okay...
