I'm Not Sorry I Fell For You

I'M NOT SORRY - FOUR

Pic: Xander <3

Song: Loose Myself by One Republic Remixed, shit... *ears orgasms*

A/N: Hay fever causing me to update three chapters in one day, you're welcome

Eric

Saturdays, good ol' Saturdays. I like to wake up extremely early on Saturdays, around 5:00 am. And I'll immediately start marking papers at an empty stomach. I would do that until I was done but if it's already noon and I wasn't done yet, I would drop everything and continue on with my life.

I told you I liked things to be in order.

To my liking, I didn't have much to do this weekend. At least not school related, there was just one thing I have on my agenda that's very important: Xander.

At first, I saw Xander as one thing; weak. But now that I spent more time with him, I find him; interesting and strong. I scowl as myself for seeing him as weak. If anything, he's far from that. Knowing that his dad passed away leaving him and his broken mom and he could still progress on with his life is appalling. I don't know how it feels to loose a parent, mine are still growing old together and strengthening their love everyday.

And I'm no longer going to question or scowl at myself for thinking those things for Xander. I'm no longer going to stop the feelings I have developing for Xander.

I know it's wrong. He's my student, he's underage, there's a seven year gap between us. I would lose my job, I'd be put in jail, he'd be a laughing stock and all the pain he felt now would double.

I wish I could just go up to him, tell him how I felt and we would live happily ever after but sadly, our society is way too fucked up for that. I don't even have his number, I only knew where he lived. Does that make me a creep? I don't know his number but I know his house.

To my judgement, I got up o my seat and changed out of my pajamas into running shorts. It probably wasn't a good idea to run outside at 11c but the cold weather urges me to keep running to stay warm. That was one of the things I appreciate about Mr. Holler's AP Bio class in High School.

I put on a Tee shirt under my hoodie, along with my running shoes and popping my earphones into my ears and blasted some Coldplay. I locked my apartment, placing my keys in the pockets fitted for my palms. 

I started to jog down the streets, taking necessary turns and keeping my thoughts on Xander as I ran through Autumn.

--post-run--

Isn't it just the most cliche thing to bump into the person you had deep thoughts of? Here I was, panting badly as I stopped myself from bumping into Xander before he would fall and crack his head on the concrete. I swear, this kid needs to start paying more attention.

"Xander?" I asked him, I don't even know why I asked knowing I knew it was him and that was his name. So lemme rephrase that, I greeted him.

"Mr. Carter," I frowned at the way he called me. It's not that it was wrong, it just didn't fit in our situation.

"Eric," I corrected him.

"Eric..." That was the first time he said my first name and it literally made the sparks fly.

"Hey," Now I was smiling and grinning like a goof ball, seriously, how could he affect me this much?

"What're you doing in those shorts. Where are your pants, mad-man." Oh my god, he nicknamed me! He nicknamed me! He nicknamed me?

"I'm out for a run and my pants are at home. What are you doing here, your house is like seven blocks up the hill,"

"I'm biking, I just got off to tie my shoelace," He explains, pointing to the shining Harley that I swear wasn't there at first glance. Wow, he's a biker. Double points Xander Richardson! "Would you like a ride?" 

I smirked. Why do I keep getting all these inappropriate thoughts? I'm an English teacher for fuck's sake, I'm supposed to not see humor in those words. "Why, I would love a ride."

"I only have one helmet with me right not but c'mon, it's Saturday morning. It ain't a little too early to be a little bit rebellious," 

"It ain't a little too early," I purred, his lips pulling into a wicked smile as he walked to his Harley, wheeling it close to me.

He first got on, shifting forward so that he sat on the edge, enough to have space for me. I whipped my right leg over the motor, sitting on the leather seats and balance myself. Now, I didn't know whether I should wrap my arms around his waist. I wanted to but I don't know if it would be awkward and weird, I was his teacher after all. My hands were in mid-air, not knowing what to do until he reached back, grabbing onto my gigantic hands with his small ones and pulling it forward so that I would latch onto him.

"It's okay, it's not weird. You're gonna want to hold on tight,"

"Okay,"

Let the sort-of hugging begin! He pulled on the trigger, the engines roaring to life and before I knew it, we were hitting the road. We were probably going at 60mph at a 30mph neighborhood but the rebellion and exoticism from Xander got me thrilled.

I held onto him tighter, placing my head on his back and closing my eyes as we raced through the streets. His scent was fascinating. It was a mixture of mint and strawberries and I don't think those two are meant to smell good together but on him, it smelled divinely.

After what seemed like forever, I opened my eyes realizing that we were in front of my apartment. I quickly discharged my arms from his body, leaping off of the bike and nearly burning my legs on the motors as I faced him, quivering myself. Why am I nervous with him? It's like I'm walking on egg shells when I'm with him but it's not that I didn't like it, I just found it surprising.

"I hope I didn't kill you," He jokes, his brown hair tossed messily as he took off his helmet.

"You did, you did it ever so merely." I deadpanned, gaining a big eye roll from him.

"Well I have an errand to run now, I'll see you some time?"

"Okay business man," I mumbled to him.

He smiled, his blue eyes glistening as the sun started to shine on him. I watched him bike away, I didn't get his number again.