All Over Again [Spoby]

Back Again, Rosewood

[Spencer POV]

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

It affects many people-- including my friends and me. I have it the worst. I get nightmares, where I will wake up in the middle of the night, shaking, and I can't go back to sleep. Even though everything was resolved, Charlotte staying with Alison; I don't know if anything will ever be normal again.

I subconsciously fiddle with my necklace while waiting for coffee. It was the one he gave me--a small 'S' scrabble piece. I still have it, looped around my neck. I don't know why, but it felt natural, like it was supposed to be there. Good memories are associated with this, along with the bad ones.

I still can't believe it's been four years.

-FLASHBACK-

"Hey," he says as he walks through the door of our small apartment.

"Hi," I say in a quiet voice.

He walks over and presses his lips to the top of my forehead. I wrap my arms around him, knowing this may be the last time I will get to hug him in awhile. I squeeze my eyes shut to prevent myself for crying.

"What's wrong?"

"Toby, for college--" I start.

"Spencer, we've talked about this already. I can just find a job wherever you are. I want to be with you, wherever you go," he states.

"Toby, I want you to do what makes you happy. I don't want you to follow me, I want you to find what you like to do. You don't have to do everything for me." I hold my breath as I wait for a response. This could be it-I never expected to be the average high school couple, breaking up because of college, but I guess that is just what happens.

"Spencer, don't you get it? Being with you makes me happy. I love you."

I lips meet his, and he encircles his arm around my waist.

"I love you too. And I always will," I whisper.

A few tears run down my cheeks, not bothering to wipe them away. He looks hurt, but I know he understands. If he did't, he wouldn't of let me go. I press my lips to his one last time.

And just like that, I left.

- - -

I haven't really heard from him since. We spoke a few times, at friend's parties, but we never really talked. Without him, I've always felt empty, no one right at my side. I've gotten used to it; I mean, it has been four years.

My phone rings, interrupting my thoughts. I still feel a small twinge of panic every time my phone buzzes or rings, scared it's a new threatening text message from "-A." But instead it's Alison; a different kind of surpirse, since none of us have kept in touch often. We still occasionally talked, but it wasn't anything near how close we were in high school.

I pick up the phone, curious to why she is calling me so early in the morning. "Alison?" I can hear her muffled sobs in the background. "Alison? What's wrong?"

She tries to even out her breath. "I th-think...something happened...Ch-charlotte..."

"Ali, calm down. What happened? Is Charlotte okay?" Worried, I grab my car keys that were sitting on the counter. Alison takes a deep breath before she speaks again. In a shaky breath, she says:

"Call the others. Please. Tell th-them to come," she hangs up the phone abruptly. I send a rushed text to Hanna, Aria, and Emily, and hurry to my car.

I live in New York, so the drive to Rosewood would be a long three hours. During the drive, the only thing I can think about is Toby. I wonder if he still lives in Rosewood. I know we all wanted to get out of that city, but, like Alison; some people are just stuck there. I push the speed limit, worried about Ali. She had seemed like a mess on the phone.

I pull up to a mass of police cars surrounding the DiLaurentis' house. I skim the property for Alison, but I can't make out anything with the media and police covering the street. I push my car door open, only to find Hanna pushing the media away. I run to catch up to her, but she is too busy trying to get through the police. I pull Hanna's arm and we make our way towards the back door.

"Do you know what happened?" I ask.

"No—you're the one that texted us. Spencer, i'm really worried," she pants as she runs to catch up with me.

"Yeah, me too."

We open the door of her backyard, leading to a small hallway.

"Ali?" Hanna yells.

As we pass the staircase, I feel a tug on my arm. Alison, her face streaked with tears, leads us outside towards the woods near her house. "Where are the others?"

Hanna looks to me. "Not here yet, I guess. Ali, what's going on? Why won't you tell us anything?"

We pass tree after tree, and suddenly I know where we are going. She is leading us to the kissing rock--only once we are there, there are more police.

"You're not allowed to be here, ma'am. This is a crime scene," One of the police offers say.

"She was my sister!" Alison yells. "Her body isn't even here anymore!"

Body?

"Well, just like I said two hours ago, you need to leave. We need you to go to the Police Station."

As we are walking back to her house, we see Emily and Aria, waiting on her porch. The media has gone away, and it has gone utterly silent. Emily has a deep, concerned look on her face--we all do. Alison takes a deep breath.

"Someone murdered Charlotte."

I cover my mouth, hugging Ali. She cries into my shoulder. We don't pester her about the details of what had happened, or she will break all over again.

"I'm sorry, Ali."

Alison shakes her head, blinking her tears away. "It's okay, we just got really close over the past few years. I finally had somewhat of a family."

"Come on, Ali. Do you want to go to the Police Station?"

The others give me a incredulous look, but looked even more shocked when she says yes.

Melissa texts me, asking if I had heard about the DiLaurentis'. She asks to meet at the Brew, and I wonder if I should go or not. We still haven't resolved our past--we just decided to move on. I tell Ali and them that Melissa wanted to see me, and that I would catch up with them later.

"If you need me, call me," I smile.

I walk towards the Brew, smiling, thinking about our old memories with them, before "-A" had come into the picture. Sometimes I wonder what our lives would've been like if "-A" hadn't taken up our high school life.

I open the door to the Brew, and I see Melissa talking to someone. I smile at her, and when I look at the person next to her, my smile vanishes and my heart catches in my chest.

He makes an attempt to smile at me, but i'm left momentarily speechless. It's him.

- - - - 

Chapter written by: littleprettyali on instagram (:

Hope you enjoyed!