Chapter 2

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Johnny surveyed the stalled traffic. It was bumper to bumper for as far as the eye could see. To hell with this. He revved the throttle on his motorbike. "You might want to hold on tight," he shouted to Phoenicia; then he cut loose on the throttle. He felt her hands grab his waist like a tourniquet. 

He sped between the stalled cars spaced just far enough apart to accommodate his racing motorbike, though he clipped a few side-view mirrors along the way. Phoenicia removed the helmet from his head and strapped it onto hers. "Probably a good idea," he said.  

The two trucks up ahead were too wide to squeeze between. The bastards were definitely cramping his style.  

He spied the semi-trailer stalled in the far right lane, the one used for transporting cars on an upper and lower deck, currently emptied of cars. He got himself into position early to jump the car right behind it, and from there catapulted himself onto the top railing of the transport.  

He sailed over the top of the semi-truck, and back down onto the hoods of the cars in front, skipping like a pebble across a pond by timing the bounce of his tires with the jerking of his throttle. 

Phoenicia eyed the dented roofs in their wake. "It's not fair to let your lifestyle cramp theirs." 

"Not to worry. Most cars come built with memory metal, these days. They fix themselves. Clearly, they had someone like me in mind all along." He caught her smirk in his side views.  

Johnny saw the cops blocking traffic up ahead about the time they saw him. They shared their feelings about his current antics by drawing their guns. Johnny braked, and spun his bike around. Though he was tempted to call their bluff, he headed back in the other direction. 

This time, the mad motorists he'd touched to get here awaited him outside their cars with whatever was at hand for beaning him really well.  

"You need mad skills to survive a world where no one has a sense of humor," Johnny said as he sped toward the mob, figuring between them and the cops it was the lesser of two evils. He'd rather dodge baseball bats than bullets. 

He rode the ramps of the cars' front windshields, worked the trajectories and the velocities until he landed on the car roof he was targeting. It had a two-seater kayak lashed to the roof rack with bungee cords. "Grab it." 

"You're kidding, right?" 

"There are people trying to kill me. I thought now would be a good time for a relaxing boat ride." 

"Yeah, sure." Phoenicia freed the kayak and inverted it over their heads. "The sun was getting to me." 

"Just don't cover my eyes so much, I can't see." 

"Get to the punch line of this little joke before I take to clubbing you myself. This boat isn't exactly light." 

"It's made to be ultra-light." 

"Don't argue."  

He accelerated onto the next car's roof, then down its back end onto the street in front of the manhole. He grabbed the crowbar from the guy who was determined to club him to death, after delivering a left-hook to help change his stance on the matter.  

Johnny applied the crowbar to the manhole. Lifted it out of the way. Threw the kayak down the hole. And then Phoenicia. Before diving in himself, he looked up to see the crowd converging on him from all sides. "I can't stand mob mentality." 

Once inside the sewer line, Johnny jumped in the kayak, waited for Phoenicia to climb in. "Shit, I forgot to tell you to grab the paddles," he said. 

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