The Voice

I shook my head at Tammy who pointed a manicured finger in my face and gestured for me to join her on stage.  I may have been three drinks in and had the courage to join her, I just didn’t want to.  Instead, I tried looking everywhere else except in Tammy’s direction.  I turned to Nancy who was sitting beside me in the booth.  She had just ordered another drink and was thanking the waitress.

“So, how do you feel about next weeks min-terms,” I asked feeling a tug at my shirt from Tammy.

“No way!  Those are next week already?” Nancy said in shock.

“Gracie, you’re not getting out of this that easy,” Tammy continued to nag.

I turned to Tammy.  “No,” I mouthed at her shaking my head left to right.  I turned around letting my sandy brown hair act as a shield pretending as if no one could see me.

“Come on everybody,” Tammy said into the mic. “Who wants to hear Grace up on the stage?” Her words were slightly slurred but the crowd still burst into cheers. “Come on, Gracie.  Listen to that crowd!  Everyone wants to hear you.”

I hated to be put on the spot.  I didn’t like the fact that everyone wanted me up there.  It wasn’t my thing anymore.  I hated it because something inside of me wasn’t going to let down a willing audience.  I’d give them a show.  Problem was I didn’t like being the center of attention anymore and it was getting worse.

Some of the time I’d freeze forgetting the words of the song.  I’d been booed a time or too off the stage because I didn’t do anything but stare at the crowd before me as the image of them would blur and focus, my girls coming to my rescue and taking me home.  Yet, the same crowd that gathered here every week always cheered for me, they wanted to hear me.  There wasn’t any time, lately, when we’ve been out to the karaoke bar that it wasn’t packed with this little town’s people just waiting until I got up enough courage to take that stage.

The crowd erupted into a chant of my name that somehow always made me feel as if I could conquer my fear.

“Gracie….Gracie…Gracie…”

Tammy brought her hands together over the microphone and pouted with her lower lip.  “Please,” she begged silently.  “They want you,” she proclaimed pointing at me and she winked.

I rolled my eyes.  She wasn’t going to relent until I got up on that stage and sang at least once.  I sighed and stood up causing the crowd to cheer even louder than it already was, if that was possible.  I heard whistles and clapping growing with each step toward the stage.  I had to admit, it was a good feeling, the fact that they wanted to hear me.  A little part of me still enjoyed that feeling.

“So,” I said into the microphone thankful that I wasn’t squeaky or shaky as I spoke.  I stepped to the middle of the stage. “How y’all doin’ tonight?”

“Not as fine as you,” a male voice shouted from the crowd.

“Somebody cut off Mr. Morris over here,” I teased toward the bartender pointing to where the voice had come from then whispered into the mic. “I think he smuggled a flask of Jack Daniels in here again.”

Laughter exploded from the entire bar.  I suppose I missed being up here entertaining.  This was why I loved doing this so many years ago.  But, things change.  The beauty and curse of growing up in and living in a small town was not being able to get away from some things you otherwise might be able to in suburbia.  My family and friends here wouldn’t let my fear plague me.  They loved me through it all.  They’re like my extended family.  Oh, they’ll let you know when you’re awful, but they’ll always support you.