That was Friday. I eventually dragged myself out of bed to go downstairs. I cleaned up the kitchen then finished watching Secondhand Lions, crying and laughing at all the right moments.
"The kid gets it all. Just plant us in the damn garden, with the stupid lion." I said the words in perfect sync with the actor. I have watched this movie so many times I have the whole thing committed to memory. I burst into tears at the pure tenderness of the scene, not caring that my dress was filled with puddles of tears that were seeping onto the couch. I stayed there for a solid hour, just crying. I eventually stood up, then went upstairs again to finish my homework. Not that there was much, but it was enough to keep me occupied.
I didn't do much else over the weekend.
When Monday arrived, I was thinner than usual from not eating much and my face was red and blotchy from all the crying. It was the week of homecoming, but I didn't care. You're supposed to wear the school colors, so make sure you have shirts in the colors. Luckily I did, so I just put on a sweatshirt, jeans and Converse. I brushed my hair, leaving it down and crossing my fingers it covered most of my face. I grabbed a granola bar for breakfast and an apple for lunch before driving to school.
I saw Jordan.
We didn't talk.
On Wednesday, he came up to me. I didn't look much better. I had filled out a little, and the redness was gone, but shadows still hung around me. I took a deep breath as I saw him approaching.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Nothing." I tried shrugging it off, but he could see right through the lie.
"No, really. What happened?"
"I told you. It's nothing" I tried walking away, but he spun me around.
"I won't let you leave until you tell me," he growled.
"It's just a repeat of what happened after the incident, okay? It's not a big deal." He placed a hand on my shoulder, but I shied away, and his hand dropped to his side. I could see the hurt plain in his face, so I walked away towards my car. I opened the door and sat inside for a few minutes. When I looked back up, J's car was gone. I drove home in silence.
I pulled up into my driveway and locked my car. I found lilies on my doorstep, but I left them there, stepping over them to go inside. I climbed the stairs, not bothering with a snack, to do homework.
When it was done a few hours later, I grabbed the mailbox key and stepped outside, only to see my entire driveway filled with lilies, irises, and peonies, with J standing in the center holding a huge sign saying "I'm Sorry" in huge blue bubble letters. I stepped carefully, and slowly made my way to the center.
"What is this for?" I asked.
"I hate seeing you like this. I want you to be happy, to smile again. I want you to know that I never planned for us to end like that. I'm so sorry," he said. I took the sign from him and set it between some of the flowers.
"There was never officially an 'us'," I said. "Therefore, we never ended, and there is no reason for this."
"There is a reason. And they're your favorite flowers..."
I cut him off. "I never told you what my favorite flowers were."
"All right, I guessed. There are lots of pressed flowers hanging on the walls in your house, so I assumed that these were your favorites by the way they were repeated." I laughed, and stepped close to him, clasping my hands behind his neck. He put his hands on my waist, and I could feel his breath.
"Good guess," I said.
"I wanted to show you that I will always be here for you, no matter what. I promise you'll never be alone when I'm around."
"That doesn't mean that I won't be lonely."
"I can't really do anything about that, but I wish I could. I have two questions for you." I tilt my head to the side, confused. "First, homecoming. Do you still want to go with me?" I nod. "And second, will you, Emily Amelia White, be my girlfriend?" I smiled and kissed him in response. I pulled back.
"Will you help me take all these flowers inside?" I asked. "It might take a while."
"I'll always have time for you. You take the right side, I'll take the left side. Maybe we can move all the flowers inside in a shorter time." I grinned at him.
"Maybe," I said.
