Ticking Like A Time-Bomb

Flowers are a good thing, right?

When I get to my grandfathers burial place, I sit beside him and just break down.

"Why'd you leave me?! Why did you have to die? No one cares about me like you used to. I need you here grandpa...."

Somehow these fake flowers on all these plots seem to calm my tears and ragged breaths at last. How is that possible? Is that even sane?

Throughout all my tears and sob-talking/mumbling, I didn't realize that it was almost time for school to let out. I had been sitting here for about 6 hours. I still need to go back so I can pick up Chase. Pulling myself up from my spot on the ground, I trudge to my truck as though I should belong in the dirt with all these others here.

Pulling up to the school, I park and simply sit in the truck and wait for Chase to get here. When he finally waltzes over and climbs in, I kick it in gear and start to take him home.

"Why weren't you at lunch, Lily?" He questions with a side glance.

Dang. I didn't think he would notice I had left; I forgot we had the same lunch time.

"I had to do some homework, so I went to the library." The lie flows like silk off my tongue.

"Lily. I know you left school then came back to get me. You were parked in a different place than this morning. Tell me where you were and why." Chase demanded in a tone he hasn't used on me in a long time.

Pathetically, I replied saying, "I went to see my grandfather."

It was silent the rest of the way until he asked sadly, "why?"

I couldn't respond; he then knew why and silently got out and made his way to his house. When he reached the door, he turned and looked at me with pity. Pity. I hate that look. I revved the engine and roared past house after house, traveling who knows where. Anywhere would be better than where I'm at now. I just need to be gone....

-•-•-•-•-

Crunching the gravel on my houses' driveway, I pull up to my house and lumber inside.

"I'm home!" Shouting is a norm in my house. Of course there's no reply. Why do I even bother saying it anymore?

Once in the comfort of my room, I try to busy myself with organizing my books. There's a giant wall that's a bookcase built in that's full of books and when I'm trying to forget something, I always organize stuff, so the books are my first option to put into order. Once that's done, it's about my bedtime, around 10pm; my parents still have yet to come home.

Every night before I go to bed, I write in my diary..of sorts. That's what this is. I wanted to do a daily log of what happened each day, or every few days.

~~~~~
So..I'm Chris. (A girl) and I don't really know why I'm writing this; I just felt the need to write the other day and this is the product.
Let me know if I should continue on with this or just trash it.
~Stay safe my lovelies~