NJR Short Stories

Empty Promises

So here I was, sitting in the café trying to gather my thoughts in the noisy environment. I tried to dull out the sound of hustle around me and it worked with my thoughts clouding my mind louder than anything else.

I remember a few months ago it was my birthday. He had brought me flowers, and chocolates, and a teddy bear. All sorts of cute gifts. And he laid them all out in the trunk of his car in a beautiful display. It surprised me warmly and I loved every bit of effort he had put into trying to surprise me.

He did this quite often. It was the reason why I fell so deeply in love with him. He would buy me flowers, call me princess, kiss my forehead, just shower his love upon me. And I showered him with kisses and hugs back. I'd feel 'gooey' and my heart would just melt when I was around him.

I remember even when we were upset at each other we'd yell and fight it out but ... I liked that. I liked experiencing that with him. It was strange but I would feel wow, I love spending every moment and time with this man, whether it was happy or sad, good or bad.

That led us on, he proposed to me, we got married, and now there was a child on the way. Baby Isabella. She was just about five months now and squirming in my belly more than ever. It felt like she would kick but I had no idea if she was even able to do so yet, so I assumed it was just her moving around. Every time she did, I'd give me belly a reassuring rub whispering to her that everything was alright and mommy was right here. A few seconds later she would calm down, and the movement would stop. I'd smile to myself.

I wonder how this child would turn out when she would be born. I looked at Neymar and I saw his beautiful hazel eyes ... I wanted, I prayed, that she would get his eyes. I wanted her to have his lips as well, I wanted her to resemble her father in every which way, so that then, wherever I was with Isabella, he'd be with me.

I felt the loneliness hit me harder than ever. Even with Isabella right inside me, I felt alone.

Neymar was never around anymore. He was busy of course .. And I understood. I just didn't understand why he wouldn't tell me before leaving.

He's the kind to be in a rush and just be so involved with what he's doing he'll forget everything else.

So problem after problem came up for him. He left the house and I had no sign or knowledge of what he was doing and where he went.

A few days later he called in and said he fractured his leg. It was broken and I could hear through the phone how much pain he was in. I tried as hard as I possibly could to calm him down and advise him on what to do. He took the advice and cheered up a bit. But then disappeared once more.

It was a few weeks he was gone for, felt like months. I was at home taking care of myself, Isabella, and the rest of the busy life I had. College started up once more and I was back to essays, tests, and piles of assignments a night. Each time, it would be almost every five minutes I'd check my phone to see if he called or left a message.

Nothing each time.

I felt like i was going crazy, the world was spinning, I was spinning with it, but I felt lost. I felt a part of me was not there. That part was Ney. He was half of me. He had grown so into me I pulled him in close and loved him more than anything else.

And I realized, it was my fault. This was all my fault.

Yesterday, he messaged me out of nowhere. Mentioned that he was gone so long because he needed to take a 'break'.  I had no words.

All that ran through my mind was... He left me for so long, just to take a break and heal. Break from what? Me?

He was recovering, that I knew. I knew it needed time. But what I also knew is that I was his wife. The wife who was supposed to support him during his worst times, help him through, mend him with love. But I couldn't do that, because he pushed me away.

And I wondered every day what I had done to deserve this. I cried myself to sleep every night he wasn't with me with his arms wrapped around me. I let it all out at night, the time I felt most lonely.

My thoughts were what was killing me.

The loneliness I felt.

I had friends around me but ... Nothing was able to replace the love of Ney.

One of my friends tried to get me going with another man, who was funny, charming, loving. But he wasn't Neymar. I wanted Ney, that's it.

And I hated myself for not moving on, for not getting over it.

But here I was, sitting in the café, trying to gather my thoughts in the noisy environment.

He told me to meet me here. Today was our nine month anniversary that's why. We planned to paint Isabella's nursery later on as well and I had in mind perfect what colour I wanted.

I was in my own world, buying her little shoes, a lion onesie, and even a little outfit that said 'I love papai' on it. It was my surprise for Ney, for our nine month anniversary. I wanted to make him the happiest dad in the world.

He had Davi, but I wanted him to love children even more. I wanted him to love Isabella just as much as he loved Davi.

I remember the first time I saw him he asked if I wanted to come with him to pick Davi up from his mother's house. After that I saw how much Ney loved his son. He showered his love upon him and treated the child like it was his life. And at that moment I wanted Neymar to be the father of my kids. I wanted my children to be loved like that. It was beautiful.

I picked the still steaming coffee up from before me and took a sip of the bitter creamy drink. It washed away the lump that had formed in my throat. I knew my eyes were tearing up and I had to breathe to calm down from my crazy thoughts.

I looked down at my watch and realized it was 2pm. I had been sitting here for two hours and this was my second coffee.

The waiter started noticing I was sitting for a long time and I could tell he was getting worried for me and why I was not leaving.

I waited for Ney.

How much longer was I going to wait?

This was getting ridiculous. I was going crazier by the minute. It was all my fault. I trusted his promises, his stupid, broken, fake promises.

He promised and promised and he'd never fulfil them.

A large tear escaped from my eye and dripped down splashing into my coffee.

I watched as it submerged into the creamy steam and disappear, just like Neymar did.

I brought myself to get up from my seat and take my purse with me. My belly was getting large and it was to the point it was obvious to others that I was pregnant. I rubbed the bottom of my stomach letting a small smile out as I did.

"I love you meu amor." I whispered to Isabella. It was something I'd always say to Ney. But now Ney was gone, and Isabella was here.

I made my way to the door slowly and pushed the door open walking out of the hot, coffee stenched café.

"Adriana." Someone grabbed my arm with a soft but firm grip.

It was Ney.

For some reason, I wasn't surprised. I had no emotion running through me, I was numb.

"Happy nine months Ney." I whispered. My arm released from his grip, and I left.

The End.

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