00:00

Dan leaned against the headboard in his bed as he scrolled through some of his old videos, reading comments and giggling at how vulgar he used to be. Phil had already gone to bed, so he had to do something to occupy himself. After a few minutes, his eyes caught a certain thumbnail. It was of he and Phil, both close to the camera. Phil was wearing his red plaid shirt, crossing his cerulean blue eyes. Dan was mid-sentence, looking right at the camera. Both of their faces were adorned with their annual cat whiskers, or so their fans thought. They wore cat whiskers quite often, even when not filming a PINOF episode. Dan glanced over at the date stamp of the video. September 12, 2012. He threw his laptop shut as his heart clenched painfully at the memory. 2012 was an extremely rough year for him, but it haunted him so constantly notbecause of the things he went through, but because of the things he put Phil through. Back then, Dan was gaining huge popularity alarmingly quickly, and it stressed him out. All the Phan shippers were more active than ever, and instead of ignoring them, Dan took out his frustration by being a total dick to Phil for many months, September included. Yelling at him, ignoring him, having a short temper with him, and just being an asshole. That was the only way he could think of to cope, but that didn't make it acceptable at all. Dan quickly swiped at his damp eyes and swung his pajama-clad legs off his bed. He pressed his elbows hard onto his trembling knees and lowered his head into his hands. The thing that ate him alive the most is that he never apologized to Phil. Silently, they had forgiven eachother and grown close again, but Dan had never actually said sorry.

"I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE"

Dan ran his fingers through his hair.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT"

He shook his head numbly, trying to get rid of the thoughts.

"I WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU"

He let out a quiet sob, remembering how that fight ended, wondering how he could have let it get that far. Dan scooted to the middle of his bed and pulled his knees up to his chest. He looked over at his clock. 00:00. "Make a wish." Dan thought, sniffling, "I wish I could just go back and take it all back... Especially that night."

Phil layed on his side facing the wall. He couldn't sleep worth anything, so he just stared blankly at his lamp and thought about the old days. Some certain old days came to mind, and he cringed. He couldn't blame Dan for what had happened then, he knew that Dan was gaining hundreds of subscribers daily, and he also knew what the pressure was like trying to please millions of people. Phil understood, but Dan refused to believe that he did. That's one of the few downsides to having a best friend that's younger than you. The younger one forgets that the other is older and has been through the same things. Phil closed his eyes and sighed. He gave up on sleep and flung himself up. He did understand why Dan was that way, but he couldn't help feeling hurt at the time as well. He loved Dan, he always had, and it broke his heart to hear Dan scream at him for hours. Phil had forgiven him now, but sometimes he wished he had someone to tell him that Dan still loved him, because there were moments when he was genuinely afraid that any moment, Dan would lose it and start throwing punches. In fact one night, he did, and it was the worst night of Phil's life. He instinctively brushed his fingers along his cheekbone, reliving the punch that put a schism in their friendship. Phil felt the tears start to pool at his eyes, but quickly composed himself. It was in the past, and he knew Dan loved him now. He swiped up his phone to check the time. He blinked away his tears and smiled at his lock screen. It was a selfie that Dan took of the two of them, and right when he hit the shutter, he kissed Phil's cheek. Phil's surprise was evident, and Dan was beaming like an idiot, so much so that he was hardly kissing Phil's cheek, more like just smiling into his blushing skin. They had quite the night after that, snuggling up to each other on the couch and talking over whatever they were watching. And kissing each other's cheeks so much that they were hardly paying attention to the movie at all. He studied the picture for so long, the screen dimmed, but he quickly hit the home button again. 00:00. Although it was completely childish, he always tried to wish on 00:00, every time he could. "I wish that I could go back and tell myself that I was loved..."