The book of Unnecessary Stories

Rise of the Roombas

I woke up to the birds chirping and my alarm clock beeping so I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was 8:30. Stretching my arms, I slipped on my bunny slippers and trudged to the kitchen. I was sitting at the breakfast bar waiting for my coffee when I heard a robotic whirring noise. I felt something hit my foot. I jumped up in surprise and looked down to see my roomba hitting my foot.

"That's weird, I don't remember turning it on." I said to myself laughing. I lived alone in a tiny apartment with my cat, Gizmo, so I was used to forgetting what I had done even the night before. Gizmo jumped on the counter and hissed at the little vacuum. " Oh stop it." I said rubbing his head. Gizmo leapt off of the counter to swat the roomba. I chased him away from the machine and sat myself down again with my coffee. I got ready for work by hopping in the shower and slipping on a blue button up shirt with dress pants.

On my way to work I narrowed my eyes at the cover page of the newspaper that man across from me was reading. It had a picture of a roomba and the headline was in bold letters.

Roombas: Are they too smart?

I chuckled. They're just robots. The train stopped and I headed off to work at an electronics store. I turned on all of the TVs and sat myself behind the counter boredly. I spent an hour or two dealing with whiny costumers and my boss looking over my shoulder. I was just about to leave my post when all of the TVs in the room flashed to the words, News Flash! The words changed to the news where an attractive looking anchor was reading a report with a picture of a roomba.

" We got a report that around noon today a woman's roomba began chasing her around addressing threats like surrender and bow down to me human. There have been no other reports of this behavior and iRobot refuses to talk to the media and has every factory under lockdown. Is this just a simple hoax or is it something more serious? I'm Candace Sprigger, CBS news." she announced. The news report ended and the regular programs started up again. I said goodbye to my boss and headed towards the train station. As I was walking I noticed a dirty looking man following me.

"Probably just a homeless man hoping to pick pocket me" I mumbled to myself shoving my hands in my pockets. I felt hands grab my shoulder and was spun around to be face to face with the old man. He shook me as he spoke.

" Run! Hide! Get away! They will rise!" He screeched.  I pulled away.

" Who will rise?" I demanded.

" The roombas! They've gotten our trust and now it's time for they war!" I started walking but turned to look at the man.

" Listen, drugs are bad." I said before running home. I unlocked my door and sighed. Plopping myself on the couch I studied my roomba as it cleaned tha carpet.

" Gee you aren't dead yet." I said. I thought I heard the roomba say something like, " but you will be soon." but I shook it off. I grabbed the cat food from the pantry and searched for Gizmo.

" Gizmo? Food!" I said shaking the bowl so he could hear the food. I heard nothing that could be my cat. I looked down at the carpet to see white cat hair in clumps. He must be shedding again. The roomba drove over the clumps to clean them up then stopped.

" Please clean filters before cleaning again." It said in the robotic feminine voice. I picked up the robot and set it on the counter as cat hair fell out of it. I opened the filter and instantly cat hair flew in my face. I scrunched up my nose at a raw smell filled the room. I dumped out the filter into the sink and backed away as I looked at the contents.

There were clumps of white fur and blood along with the last contents of my cat. I plugged my nose and threw the roomba on the ground. It immediantly started to follow me.