Oli's POV
"Leave me alone..." I grumbled, quickening my pace to a speed walk. This persistent girl refused to live me alone.
"Just tell me what's wrong, I want to help you. You can trust me." She said, her face looking so innocent and earnest for a moment that I almost believed her.
Almost.
"I'm fine, fuck off." I told her, a little more forcefully this time. Ok, maybe I wasn't fine, tears were streaming down my face and I was on the verge of a panic attack, but I didn't need anyone's help. I could do it on my own. She looked a little taken aback, then pulled a face and walked away. God, she was a bitch. I sunk down onto a bench in the corner of the lunch hall, and sunk my head into my hands. I was such a dickhead, I pushed away anyone who could possibly care about me.
And someday, they would stop trying to care and leave me alone. That was how it worked. That was how it always worked.
The tears flowed fast down my cheeks now, and I used the long sleeve of my jumper to dry them. If anyone saw me crying, well, this day would go from absolute shit to an overdose. Maybe, this time, it wouldn't just be an attempt.
I was so engrossed in my thoughts, I didn't notice that girl, the one who I had told to fuck off earlier, sit down next to me. She was staring at me, a sad look on her face. I looked at her, anger in my eyes. But I was weak, and I just burst into tears. Call me feminine, I'm an emotional guy.
"Please, just tell me what's wrong." Her brown eyes met with my green ones and I collapsed, I broke down. Maybe I should just tell her, but it would be a one time only thing. I didn't trust anyone, I didn't want trust anyone.
"I can't explain... it's the voices. There's more then one now, there's about three. They keep having arguments with each other, and with me. It's driving me crazy. I can't concentrate, I can't eat, I can't sleep. Don't get me started on my depression..." I trailed off. What was I doing? I couldn't trust this girl. Who the fuck was she? I didn't even know her name.
"Oli... I'm so sorry. It's not your fault, don't do anything to yourself for this." She said, still looking into my eyes. I realized we had been staring at each other the entire time. She tried to reach for my hand, but I glared at her. I had just broken all my rules.
"Fuck off." I snarled at her, snatching my hand back. What was wrong with me today?
I grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulder and walked away, hitting my head repeatedly.
What was that? You dickhead, why do you push everyone away? She was just trying to help you, you idiot.
For once the voices seemed to agree. I agree I'm everything the voices say, but not because I pushed her away. No, I did the right thing.
Somehow I couldn't seem to convince myself that.
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Edited:)
- hehe hope you like it
-Mary and Kelcie
