Don't Forget Me

**Trigger Warning**

Stiles’ back scraped against his bathroom wall as he lowered himself to the floor. His chest was tight and his eyes burned. He was finally beginning to realize everything that was happening and he couldn’t help but to feel completely useless. He didn’t have a purpose anymore. His best friend was probably better off without him. Scott and Allison were always being found together and any time they weren’t together, Scott was training with Derek and his pack. Stiles would join them but he’s nothing like them, although that wouldn’t stop him before when Lydia and Jackson tagged along, although now Jackson is like them too. Normally, Stiles would be with Scott but Derek is always there and Derek is such a sourwolf. Maybe Stiles was overreacting. He hated nights like these. All of his bottled emotions flooded through him all at once. It was hard to tell what was reasonable. He shut his eyes tight and pressed him palm to his brow bone, trying to stop the pain in his head. He wanted his life back to normal. He wanted his mom back and he even wanted his dad to yell at him when he did stupid things, now Sherriff doesn’t even try anymore, he says nothing. Maybe that wasn’t it. Maybe Stiles wanted to be stronger so he could protect them. But he wasn’t strong enough to protect anyone. His body trembled, he wanted to scream but he could barely breathe as it was. He got up and held him self up over the sink, his mirror reflection was blurred by his watery eyes. His back pocket buzzed, sighing shakily, he looked at his phone’s screen. Scott. He was ready to chuck his phone out the window but what time was it again? 2 a.m. Why would Scott be calling at 2 a.m? 

“Scott?” His own voice startled him. It was barely there and what was there sounded raspy. There was a pause.

“Stiles?” It was Derek. 

“Derek? What are you doing with Scott’s phone?” He was gasping with each word.

“Stiles? Are you okay? Where are you?” He sounded angry, or maybe it was concern. Stiles didn’t care anymore. He hung up. He glanced at his wrist. Maybe just once. 

Derek stared at the phone. He was muddled and anxious now. Did the alphas get to him? He turned to Scott.

“Somethings wrong with Stiles. I’m going to get him.” 

“What? We're in the middle of-” Scott began to protest but Derek was already gone. Derek wasn’t about to let Stiles get hurt. 

Stiles watched as blood seeped across his forearm. His body calmed and his breathing slowed. He just watched it flow on his skin. At least he knew he was alive. It wasn’t enough though. His chest was still tight with anxiety. He’d been clean for years but now he felt relieved. He wanted to feel untroubled again. He wanted to tell himself it wasn’t worth it and to throw the blade away. He couldn’t. This time, he placed the cold blade on his wrist and turned it sideways. The door swung open. Derek. Stiles dropped the blade and backed himself into the corner, looking left to right, hiding his arm. Derek stared down at the small blade tinted with blood. With his eyes wide and eyebrows tensed, he slowly raised his head to Stiles, who did his best not to meet his eyes. Stiles sighed and lowered his arm from the back of his head. 

“What are you doing here? I literally got off the phone with you ten minutes ago. Which reminds me, why did you have Scott’s phone?” He found the courage to meet Derek’s eyes which were just staring at him. Stiles could feel his face get redder. “Why are you here?”

Derek waited to reply and lowered his face, still looking at him. “I thought you were in trouble. You sounded like a wreck.” He glanced at Stiles’ wrist. 

Stiles huffed and hid his arm behind his back. Few drops of blood hit the floor. Derek understood now. He paced to him and took his arm and snatched it up facing him.

“What is this, Stiles?” He sounded angry. “What did you do?” Stiles sighed. “What is this?” He raised his voice. Stiles yanked his arm back to him.

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.” He looked back at his wrist, noticing multiple tiny white lines. “You’ve done this before?” He stepped towards him.

Stiles backed into the wall, his mouth quivering. Derek was still waiting for an answer, standing inches from him. Stiles’ body started shaking again. He could feel his eyes burn and everything got blurry. He didn’t want to cry in front of Derek, anyone but Derek the Alpha, he couldn't help it anyhow. “I want you to leave!” Stiles breathed out. “Just leave me alone!” Derek didn’t move. His eyebrows weren't tense anymore. He had more of a puppy dog face. Stiles pushed past him and grabbed the blade off the floor and hastily pressed it to his veins. Before he could do anything Derek spun at him and pushed him against the wall. The blade fell back to the floor. Stiles struggled but there was no way he was getting free. Derek was looking down, and Stiles gave up, still shaking and whimpering. 

“Such a puppy.” Derek said under his breath. 

“What?” Stiles coughed. Derek raised his head and met his eyes, inches from Stiles’ face. He came closer, searching his eyes, which made Stiles’ heart beat faster. His breathing slowed but he was still crying. Derek could hear Stiles’ heart. He closed his eyes and leaned forward until he felt their lips touch. Derek pulled back and rested his forehead against Stiles’. 

“What are you doing?” Stiles’ sniffled. Derek looked, again, into his eyes. 

“This.” He tilted his head and met back with Stiles’ lips. Stiles’ didn’t protest and rested his hands on Derek’s shoulders. Derek broke away. 

“Stiles.”

“Hmm?” He murmured while wiping his nose.

“Please don’t anymore.” 

Stiles paused. Seconds later he broke down into Derek’s arms nodding frantically. Derek just held him.