You don't understand what is is like. You don't. U don't understand what it feels like to be incapable of love. To have no one love u. Everyone I have ever loved is my family or friend. As a family member or a friend. Anyone who has ever loved me is my family or friend. As a family member or a friend. My undying desire for love is slowly killing me. Piece by piece. I am running out of optimism. That is how I kept myself going at first. For the first 2 years. Now I am running on the sliver of it that remains. I am able too convince myself I have a crush that doesn't exist, just to try and fill the void that sucks out my soul. Once this went too far and I dated an unstable person for a day. Because they had the same problem as me. Now I fear I am becoming them. I have a lust. That cannot be fulfilled. A desire for love. That cannot be fulfilled. I am slowly dying. With a black hole that empties me out. Sucking in my soul, and previously happy self. Bit by bit. Piece by piece. There can be nothing that will fill that void, if my brain continues to destroy me, inside out, with the strongest desire for love, that is not allowed to be fulfilled, because me, loving someone, is impossible.
