Take A Walk With Me (One-Shots and More)

A- (Kenoco)

Asexual.

Aromantic.

You can't let him know oh God if he finds out he'll leave you because that's what he does isn't it that's what they all do no trust never trust--

The stolen glance that gives everything away. He's watching me, his eyes falling over my figure.

What if he already knows no no no what then he'll leave we just went over this he's going to hate you you're a fuck-up don't you know that why can't you just be normal well gay isn't normal but--

I still don't understand how I can love him so much, yet not be attracted to him. Sure, there's a difference between asexual and aromantic, but would he see it? Wouldn't he just run and not come back?

Of course he would he's not an idiot but you are you're so stupid thinking he would always love you Kenny deserves so much better he's not even yours anymore you say he's your boyfriend and so does he but you both know he's slipping--

"Hey, Kenny...?"

I don't know why I said that. I have to come up with an excuse. I can't just tell him, no, no

He's going to hate you either way what does it matter I mean

"Yeah, Choco?"

"Er... Nothing. Never mind."

Oh you fuck-up you always do this mistake mistake MISTAKE why are you even fucking here curl up and did tha

"Chocobabe... Something's up. I know it is."

I chuckle at the nickname. "No, it's really nothing."

I could feel it on my tongue, could picture myself day it. Just two words. It would be okay... Wouldn't it?

No it won't what the hell are you thinking fuck-up fuck-up ha ha that's all you are FUCK-UP

"Just... You tell me, okay? When you're ready."

"I'm ready now, but-- I mean, I would be ready..."

Seriously you can't control what you're saying do you know how immature you are wait what look at him he's smiling oh he knows you're lying knows you're trying watch watch watch he's gonna he's gonna fuck you up so bad and leave you brokenhearted why did you fall

"Choco, tell me, please."

His smile turns sad, pitying me.

My mind was winning.

"It's just..."

Gather your adrenaline that's right maybe you won't feel the pain when he casts you out where are you gonna go by the way your parents have abandoned you like they rightfully should you'll be homeless huh just like Mitch was before that Aussie boy took him off the streets and stole his heart but you won't an Aussie to help you huh no you'll lose the blonde you love you won't find another one Mitch is lucky Mitch is perfect stunning handsome funny sweet you aren't not even a litt

"I'm not... I'm not gay."

"Bi? Pans?" Kenny asks, smile turning welcoming. I know his mind is probably whirling

No it isn't he's hoping you're straight so he can escape and have reason wait no he'll cast you out remember

Yes.

"I... Kenny..."

"Baby, I'll love you either way. Don't worry about it. I'll never stop loving you."

"I'm asexual."

"Come again?"

See he hates you he can't believe you'd be something so disgusting I mean you are you're disgusting ugly faggot worthless WORTHLESS that's a good one

Shut up.

"I... I don't find people attractive. Not anyone."

"So... Does that mean..." He looks hurt, like I just slapped him or something.

"I still love you!" I rush. "I love you. I'll always love you. It's just... I don't have any attraction to you..."

Kenny blinks a couple times, processing. "O-Oh... It's okay with me... I just thought..."

Nope he's lying he hates you

Fuck you.

"No, Kenny... All it means is..." I blush. "Sex is off the table... I don't really like it."

He shrugs. "That's fine... I just love you."

"I love you too," I tell him, starting to grin.

"Thank you... For telling me, I mean."

"Oh, no problem... I just felt like it finally needed to be said."

And he kissed me.

Fuck you, subconscious. I am loved.