Limit & Forbidden

Forbidden: His Side

Limit: Jamie's Side by JhasMean_

A short story

Inspired by UST files' entry: Cersei x Jamie

Tell me the story about how the sun loved the moon so much. He died every night to let her breathe.

~~~

"Jame, oorder lang ako ng iinumin natin, ha?" Tumango ako at pinanood ang babaeng pinakamamahal ko na maglakad palayo sa akin. Namuo ang kaba at sakit sa aking dibdib dahil alam kong hanggang dito na lang ako. Ang panoorin siyang maglakad palayo, ang tignan siya mula sa malayo. Ang masaktan kahit hindi dapat.

Cersei is your sister, Jamie.

That's what I keep on burying in my mind as I remember everything that happened to us a month before our graduation. Malaki ang naging pasasalamat ko noon na nakitira sa amin si Tito, dahil kung hindi dahil sa kanya, I wouldn't have experienced those memories. I wouldn't have the best memories in my entire life. But I know I have to let that memories go.

Cersei doesn't want me to fight for us because if she wanted me to, she would have let me kiss her that night. She would have said yes when I asked her to elope. She would have said yes... But then she's Cersei. She would the right thing. She would do the things where no one else can get hurt, she'd rather get hurt that hurt the people around her. And that just made me love her more. Her decisions made me love her more.

It's funny but no matter how much she had hurt me; I end up loving her more. Kahit na sa lumayo ako sa amin, umalis ako para makapag-isa, para makalimot, because, God knows living with her will only make this damn feelings grow, so I left. Pero walang nangyari. Tuwing natatapos ang klase ko, dadaan ako sa university niya, makukuntento sa pagtanaw sa kanya mula sa malayo, ang makita siyang normal, na masaya. I'm content with that.

Lumayo ako para makalimot ngunit lalo ko lang siyang minamahal. A hard habit to break. Parang drugs, nakakaadik. Mahirap pigilan, mahirap itigil because it feels good. But I know that I have to stop this addiction, dahil wala itong kahahantungan. Being obsessed... loving her... walang mangyayari. Dahil kahit anong pilit ko, hanggat ayaw niya, hindi ako lalaban. But once she tells me to be with her, I don't care if I have to hurt everyone, I will.

"Hey, you alone?" Tanong ni Janine sa akin. Birthday ngayon ng kaibigan naming kaya naman ay nagkaron kaming magbabatchmates ng maliit na kasiyahan sa bahay nila sa Laguna.

"Obviously," ngisi ko at uminom ng alak. Pumwesto siya sa aking tabi at nagsalin din sa kopita ng iniinom ko. She drank it straight, I was amazed. Hard drink ito, at base sa itsura ni Janine, a woman with such an innocent face, parang kahit Tanduay Ice ay hindi niya maiinom.

"My Father's a heavy drinker. Always get drunk every night, made me drink with him when I was twelve, if I didn't drink it straight, he will beat me to death." I looked at her. Parang wala lang sa kanya ang mga kinukwento niya. Ngumisi ako.

"Sounds awful." Tumayo ako at kumuha pa ng dalawang bote ng alak, binigay ko ang isa sa kanya at sabay kaming uminom. Buong gabi kaming magkasama, nasa isang tabing nag-iinom at nagkukwentuhan, at kinabukasan ay nagising na lang akong nakahiga sa isang kama na walang saplot at nasa tabi ko si Janine. That's when I knew I screwed up.