Here I'm getting ready to go away. I just want to leave I really wanted to leave everything and get away from all this shit around me.
I started to read books listing more to the music, make my brine happy but my heart sad.
Running away isn't the way to fix your problems because it will follow you it will stay in your head and heart that's what my mother say, it's true? Yes maybe. I'm getting so selfish, he learned me to be like that.
He: who is he?
The one who told me that I'm not worth to see him! The one who made me waited for a year to see him then he left me! The one who really changed me! The one who broke my heart! The one who learned me how to love my self!
Why we love the people who don't love us? Do we like to be hurt?! Do I?
I've been in many different countries trying to find a good life but I couldn't maybe cause I love my sadness! I but my self in the black
I'm not the girl who listen to rock music I don't wear so much dark clothes I haven't tried to kill my self I just have an broken heart but I still smile.
TODAY IS A ANOTHER DAY:
do you think love is what I need? Yes, but love from the one who I love the one who I have feeling for him.
I ask and I answering my self, it's good to talk with your self some times it's good to ask your self every day in the night before sleeping about the things you've done today. What's tomorrow mean? The future? What is the future? Hopes?
I have so tiered life but I still smile, did your heart smile for only one time since tow month? No.
I don't want to be sad so I decided to change my self, I should change my self I should be who I want I've got highe hope.
When you are sad or when you have any problems or you have to choose between tow different things just ask yourself some questions about your situation it will help you so much to get over it.
When you cry because your boyfriend left you, you have to cry because you lost your time with him not because he left you. Because if he said that he love you he won't leave you so be stronger he is just Little piece of shit :)
OLDER THAN I THOUGHT:
I've 17 year's old, when I talk with someone the first thing that they told me that I'm older than my age not in looking just in talking. I want to tell you my friend that I'm a mother to my sister and brother when my mom isn't at home, I'm the psychology for my friends when they get hurt and when they are down I'm here to hold them, I'm girlfriend when my male friend need a kiss, I'm the philosophy when any one need advice, but I've never found someone who do for me the same way what I do for other's people.
Tired life teach you how to be strong how to be ready for everything for every situation you will find yourself in. I've never seen a strong person with an easy past isn't that what they say?
WE READ TO KNOW THAT WE ARE NOT ALONE - William Nicholson
I like to get lost in book or in library I like the books which left reaction on me.
When you read books your brine start to imagine the things you read that what give the reading so excited positive you just have to learn how to read and how to imagine and how to but yourself in the story you read like you are living with the heroes in the story or when you read a learning books you should know how to learn the most from this books and how to use what you've learned in your live. Get high while you are reading.
Maybe you see the difference between the beginning and now but this book is about everything you will need in your life.
MORNING LIKE MORNING :
what's mornings means to you? The pegging of a new day?
You hate mornings
You like nights, but why? In the morning the sunshine goes straight to your face when you wake up which it should give you hope in the pigging of the new day but you hate it! You don't like to get up of your bed because you don't feel there is something worth. Why do you like night? You can be away from all the world alone in your bed just you and your music!
Being alone isn't the way to be good sometimes you need some one behind you, you will fall in love with this moment when you one day wake up in the morning and he will behind you it will makes you smile, it will give you hope that everything is okay yet. Or when you wake up and you find a text from him "good morning beautiful" you guys have to learn how to make her day from the pigging make her smile. Or when you wake up in the music that your mother switch it's a happy music it's snowing outside and the people are happe all the street has been designed with a colored small balls and christmas tree's
It makes you smile it's christmas. You should still in hope that one day your mornings will be perfect if it's not now, you have to work on it.
PLAYING WITH THE STARS :
It's too late in night now I'm a little bit scared but relaxed, I can't feel any thing just the sweet voice of the wends
Is that sweet!?
I'm lying on my back staring at the stars today it's a cold warm weather there is no clouds just night whole sky with little little star's I could hold them I can move them I can feel them, am I crazy? Maybe I'm dreaming! Maybe I'm just imagining that, I lose my mind
I can here some one is coming
I don't want to open my eyes
I'm just breathing too fast
I'm just dreaming
It's a good dream yeah a good dream he is here
You are here
I'm here
I feel nervous
I want to kiss you
Hug you
And hit you for letting me go
I remembered what you've done
I hate you I should be
Twinkle twinkle little star's they are singing
There is a little star on my hand I hold it close to my heart and I but my hand on my hand so she get in my body and I feel good and free.
I LOVE HIM BUT I DON'T KNOW HIM:
how could we love people through the Internet or in another way how could we trust them, talking with people by chat it's the most popular thing in our time but also this tip of conversation is the worst in the world because you can't look at his eye's you can't see what he feel and how he is reacting if he is saying that he loves you you can't see if his eye's are shining of if he's nervous while he is saying that
In the Internet you can lie you can hide your emotions you can say I'm fine while you are crying and no one will know and no one will care because they didn't see you they can't feel you.
Sometimes you talk with someone by Internet and you feel like he is perfect then you dicide to meet him and then you will be in shock because he is totally different and maybe you won't like the real him.
If you have any problem with any one don't try to talk and trying to fix everything while you are talking in the Internet just try to meet and talk and that's the best way.
People in the Internet are stronger less emotional you will feel like all world is okay because everyone write that he is fine when you ask how are you! When you set with some one and ask how are you? You will feel it's different even when they say that they are fine you will see in their eyes that there is something wrong.
Leave your phone and meet real people you will live more happier :)
