Long Distance

Six

AN
I was writing six but it came out sux and I giggled

We skyped again and it was almost the same as yesterday. But something kept bugging me. I'm not sure what it is but Reed noticed it too.

"Sara what's wrong?" He asked

I looked at my glitchy screen to see his eyes full of concern and his eyebrows scrunched trying to focus.

"Please don't.... Don't" he softly said.
Don't? Don't what?? Wait.

I lifted my finger to my surely damp cheek. I felt so embarrassed and I tried to wipe most of it away but my face was all blotchy. I had no idea why I was crying but I don't like it. I don't like it when people see my weak side or cry.

"S-fhvhtfff.... Sar-vbbjdfbbb....Sara? Wha-uhhttshh wronghbdfgg." And then the screen cut off. God I hate poor connection. But I'm glad he couldn't see me like this anymore. I needed to get out of here. The thing about wanting to go somewhere but being in middle school is that you can't really go anywhere this late.

Whenever this would happen I would tell Austin and he would either calm me down or he would just drive me around Barberton. The lights soothed me and so did the faint stars. But my favorite thing? The wind. Definitely the wind. It makes me feel free and it makes me feel like I'm actually moving, going somewhere. Instead of just staying in the same place forever. That's one of my biggest fears. Staying in Barberton my entire life. I love it here. There is absolutely no doubt about that but I want to see the world. When I think of something I get a certain feeling from it. If it's from art or music I feel something that I love. When I think of Barberton I have a warm content feeling but also trapped. When I think of any calmed music I feel something in my chest and I always think of the colors black and purple mixed, like a really really dark purple. When I think of books I feel something in my throat. Knowing I'll probably cry of feels and just sigh for thirty hours straight.

But when I feel this type of sadness, or fear. I feel it right on the tip of my tongue, I want to tell someone how I think but no matter who I say it to. No one understands. They try to explain something near that topic but it's all wrong, it's not the same feeling. That's why I usually don't tell anyone. I guess there is one person who understand and its August but he isn't here. I miss him so much and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him.

Now I'm laying on my back about to fall asleep and all of this is running through my head. Great.

AN sorry I got bored (⌐■_■)