Moving his arm out of the burrito of warmth he had created, Suga slammed his hand down on the ringing alarm- signalling it was time to get up and out of bed. Despite this, Sugawara couldn't bring himself to get up and start the day, pulling his arm back into the warmth of his bed; under the dull striped grey and white duvet.
Despite the physical warmth of his bed; Suga felt cold. Not just cold, but an indescribable numb-ness that was smothering his entire being, suffocating him.Moving from his side onto his back, Suga stared up at the ceiling, sighing. It was strange to think that this very ceiling had been there for him more than anyone. Every night, it would look down and watch over Sugawara- it watched down on him on the nights he would cry himself to sleep; the times Daichi and himself would do their homework together; have sleepovers. And the times Suga would drag a blade across his skin.
Not seeing the point in getting up, just to have to face another pointless day, Kōshi pulled his duvet back over his head-trying to get some sleep. Despite this, Suga found himself unable to nod off. This was the same problem he faced every night, leaving him to his thoughts. Trying to block out the words his mind would whisper to him, Sugawara reluctantly slid his arm out of bed, picking up his iPod that was conveniently placed by his alarm clock. Sliding a single bud into his right ear, Suga heaved himself onto his left side, listening to the soft notes of a random song start to play.
After having to face his mother barging into his bedroom, shouting at her depressed son about his lateness for school; Kōshi slid out of bed, stumbling around his room. Finding yesterday's uniform crumpled in the corner of the room, Suga slowly bent down to retrieve the shirt and trousers. After putting on his uniform and brushing his teeth, Suga grabbed his bag walking out the house, not bothering to eat breakfast or retrieve his lunch, the depressed boy started on his journey to school.
Trying to ignore the sight of his scruffy appearance of his reflection in some shop windows, Sugawara deeply regretted not picking up his iPod before leaving. He attempted to go through a few entire songs in his head, however his thoughts quickly drifted to a darker place.
"This is pointless: school, friends, life. In the end we're all alone. We live to die and we die to live- what's the point when life just contradicts?
I'm just a tiny insignificant speck, in this life. I'm disgusting, stupid, annoying and everyone would just be happy without me. I'm exhausted by being alive, maybe I should just bring the end of me."
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End Of Me
FanfictionFor months Sugawara Kōshi has felt un-needed. Unwanted. Like an outsider. The volleyball team he once felt was his home no longer feels that way. Kōshi has a sempiternal sadness. Suga is giving up on life and it won't be too long until he's gone. He...