Come Back...Be Here

How to Mend a Broken Heart

I can even begin to say how incredible shock I am that I got 300+ reads on my first chapter of this fanfic. It's insane to think that I uploaded this a week or so ago and in a couple days, I got so much reads and nice beautiful feedback. Please leave your feedback on this new chapter. Thank you :)

Chapter 2:

It had been exactly a week since Caspar left me alone in our house. I hadn’t heard from him nor seen him since that day. I guess this was real; he actually wanted to explore the world on his own for a bit. I couldn’t believe that the person I learnt to love for two years had shattered my heart in a couple of minutes. I still didn’t want to believe it.  I wanted him to be besides me, holding me until I fall asleep. However, I wouldn’t be able to have him fall asleep besides me because he had left me. I wanted to think that all of this was some kind of 4 a.m. rush of weirdness but I had known too well that it wasn’t and I should just move on. I had no idea how to move on from a relationship because Caspar was my first and I had no plans to move on from him. That’s why I had googled “Ten tips to mend a broken heart”. I started out by trying one tip at a time. The first tip was to not push it aside and affect you. I had no clue what they meant by that so I just skipped it. The second one was to gain your independence again. Reading this tip made me think if I ever had independence with Caspar? He never did complain about me being with my girl and guy friends so I would see them on a regular basis but had he minded it. Had he ever said anything about me having too much independence? Is this the reason he left me, because I had more independence than him? I was over thinking a tip that was supposed to help me so I skipped it as well. The next tip was to list my strengths. I wrote that down on a piece of paper all my strengths from playing an instrument to learning new things. However, this lead me to think about Caspar again because he had thought me a lot of new things and one of them was to love. The next tip was to relax myself but each time I had tried, I would hear the little voices in my head telling me that I shouldn’t have told Caspar to leave and that I should have begged for him to stay. The fifth tip was to help others but how I could I help others when I couldn’t even help myself. SKIP. The sixth tip was to laugh and cry. I think I had done more crying than laughing at this stage. The seventh tip was to make a good and bad list of your relationship. I had taken out another piece of paper and I wrote down the good of our relationship. I had a lot more good than bad on the list. I wrote about how Caspar always brought daisies home when he knew that I was having the worst day. I wrote how Caspar knew how to cheer me up. The worst thing on my list was the break up because even though Caspar had done some bad stuff in our relationship, nothing could compare to our break up. The finale three steps were about finding hope, forgetting and creating a new world. But I didn’t want to forget or create a new world because what Caspar and I had was too special to leave behind. Instead of following those steps, I was writing a note that was addressed to him.

Dear Caspar,

I don’t know if I will send this to you because I am too sad to walk to the post office. However, if this letter ever does end up in your hands, I want you to acknowledge every detail of this letter. Let me start off by saying this is a letter in my hope to find closure. I might not find closure at the end of this letter but it’s worth a try. Let me start off by saying that I still love you. I don’t think that the feeling will never leave. Second of all, I had wanted to tell you something important before you left but I never had gotten the courage of telling you. It’s not because I didn’t trust you but it was because I was afraid- afraid that you would leave me in my worst time. In fact, I was going to tell you today. You might say: What’s so bad that I would leave you for. But before you think that, you should look at your own excuse for leaving me. All week, I have been asking myself what I did so wrong for you to want to leave me. You left with the simple answer that you wanted your own independence. Yet that’s not how you said it, instead you said that you wanted to travel. It pains me to know that you wanted to travel without me because you knew how much I loved traveling. Maybe it’s for the best that you left because if you would have stayed with me than you would have been disappointed. I would have been worried that you might fall in love with someone else because I wouldn’t be able to give you what every man wants- a child. I had gone to the doctor the other day and he had told me that if I ever did get pregnant, there was a chance that the baby and I might not make it. It would put our lives at risk. Therefore, I knew that you would have understood to a certain level yet I would have always wondered if you wanted more. Now, I am just mumbling away because I am scared. I am scared for my future, I am scared that no one will ever love me like you used to. I am scared of living a lonely future because I know that I won’t be able to have kids. I had the same fear before I met you. However, you led me to believe that I might not live lonely and I might actually have a shot at love compare to my mother. Then my hopes and wishes were crumbled when you left. I realized that all men are the same. They tell you they love you and then they leave you the next day. Honestly, you acted the same way as my father did. I had hoped to never relieve those horrifying memories yet you brought them back even when you promised that you wouldn’t be the same. I hope that you know what you have done to me. Even though you caused me so much pain, I still love you and I always will.

With love,

(Y/N)

I sealed the letter inside an envelope before placing it on top of the pile of newspapers beside the table. I looked around what used to be our apartment when I noticed something odd in the corner of the kitchen. I opened the box to reveal a silver chain with a locket that said Caspar + (Y/N) forever. If he had wanted to give me this, why did he leave me? He certainly showed that we weren’t forever.