Window To The Soul

Chapter 4

Laura's POV

''No! You've said enough. Thanks for the talk. Bye, Ross.'' And with that she turns around, runs toward the school doors and enters the building.

With a loud bang I shut the school doors, walk to the closest wall and lean against it with my back. Did I overreact? Was Ross just trying to comfort me and did I misunderstand things? He tried to help me and I just pushed him away. Just like I do with everyone who tries to help me. It's like I attract people who make me unhappy.

I slide down, my back still against the wall, until I hit the ground with my knees bent. I let my elbows rest on them and touch my forehead with the palms of my hands. Ross was the first person who showed interest in me without even knowing me. But strangely enough, it seemed like he did know me. Like he could see who I was and everything about my life with just one look.

What was up with that guy anyway? He gives you these looks that go further than the surface, like he looks right into my soul. It's a weird thought, but I can't help but think about it. And c'mon, he's not ugly. I can't help but feel some sort of attraction to him. Jason and I just broke up and I'm done with boys for a while, but Ross is...different.

I must've been lost in my thoughts, because I suddenly hear a small voice calling my name. I look up and see a confused Ally standing before me. Realizing I must look like a mess, I wipe my eyes dry and stand up quickly. The hallway is crowded with a lot of parents and even more kids who curiously look my way. I fix my hair and wipe some dust off my trench coat nervously and look down at Ally. She has a concerned look on her little face which makes my heart melt. Grabbing her small hand with mine I crouch down so my face is levelled with hers.

''Mommy's okay, kay sweetheart?'' I assure her while booping her nose. She holds her head sideways a bit and giggles while she nods that she understands. I get up and walk her home.

It was way past midnight, but I just couldn't fall asleep for some reason. I kept tossing and turning in my oversized bed, considering I slept there alone now. Every time I closed my eyes, the image of Jason grabbing her harshly and threatening her appears and it kept her awake. I actually wanted to go to Ally, but she had school tomorrow and I didn't want to wake her.

Suddenly I'm not in my bed anymore, but outside. When I look around, I recognize the school building, but I'm not on the playground, I'm behind the school. I stand in between the school walls and a fence, only a few feet wide. It's dark and there is no sound whatsoever. Suddenly I see a silhouette standing against the fence. Thinking it's Jason I open my mouth, ready to scream if he gets any closer, when I notice it's Ross walking my way. I close my eyes, a feeling of relief comes over me and I run towards him, wrap my arms around his chest. He puts his arms around my shoulders and pulls me closer.

''It's okay, Laura. It'll all be over soon.'' I hear him say and look up. He stares at me with the always so mysterious look in his eyes. He brushes a curl from my face and cups my chin with one hand. We continue to gaze into each others eyes when he suddenly crashes his lips onto mine. I respond immediately, parting my lips and feeling the sparks I never felt with Jason. I let my hands travel from his chest up to his neck to let them rest on the back of his neck. His hands go from my back down to land on my hips, caressing every curve they meet. With one swift move he picks me up and pushes my back against the wall, in response I wrap my legs around his hips. I feel his lips leaving mine as they travel lower, planting small kisses on my jaw. I stretch my neck to give him better access and sigh, enjoying every touch.

''Why did you leave me, Laura? That wasn't very nice.'' I hear a voice whisper in my ear. I recognize it, but it isn't the warm voice I know Ross has. When I open my eyes in shock I see Jason's dark one's piercing into mine. With a fast movement I untangle my arms from his neck and try to step back, without success since I'm still backed up against the wall. ''Answer me, Laura!'' he suddenly yells at me and pins my hands above my head with one of his. ''No, get away from me!'' I cry and try to free my hands, which makes him even angrier and he wraps his free hand around my neck. ''I'll give you one more chance, take me back. You have no power, Laura, I can do whatever I want with you. I own you.'' He says calmly and tightens his grip.

''Leave me alone! Help me, someone, help!'' I yell as loud as I can, while tears are forming in my eyes. I keep screaming for help, while I slowly feel my breath being cut down.

''Ross! Ross, help!'' I manage to whisper with my last breath before everything turns black. ''ROSS!''

''ROSS!'' with a scream I wake up. I'm sweating and the sheets are wrapped around my body tightly, like I moved too much in my sleep.

''Mommy?'' when I look left I notice Ally standing beside my bed, thumb in her mouth and her bunny cuddle toy hanging by her side, her firm grasp around one of his arms. She can't sleep without it and won't let it go all night, because she believes he will fight all the monsters for her. She looks at me with wide eyes filled with concern and curiosity.

''Hey, baby!'' I greet with faked enthusiasm. She's still eying me quietly while I move so my back rests against the back of the bed. ''Mommy was just having a bad dream, nothing to worry about. Did I wake you, sweetie?'' I lift her on the bed and wrap my arm around her small body. She nods while getting comfortable in my arms. ''Do you wanna sleep in the big bed tonight?'' I ask her and give her a kiss on her forehead. Ally nods happily and lays her head on the pillow where Jason once slept. Smiling, I do the same and move my pillow so there is no room between the two pillows. ''You can take Lilly tonight, she will protect you against more nightmares.'' she assures me and hands me the bunny. ''Lets put her inbetween us, alright? That way she can protect both of us'' I take her in my arms and close my eyes. ''Goodnight, Ally.'' ''Goodnight, Mommy.''

I'm on the verge of sleeping when I hear her voice again. ''Mommy, who is Ross?'' my eyes snap open and look at her, seeing hers are still closed. ''Eh, he's just... No one important. I mean, well, don't worry about it, okay?'' I stumble over my words, trying to explain. She nods her head, and a few seconds later I hear her breathing get deeper, letting me know she's sleeping already. I lie awake for a while thinking about that simple question: Who is Ross?

''How is your new class, honey, are they nice?'' I ask her when we're on the playground the next morning. Kids are running inside already, and I'm just fixing her hair before letting her go too.
''They're so nice! One boy called me a robot, but I don't think he meant it in a bad way. He keeps asking me questions.'' She tells me while stroking some of her brown curls out of her face. ''Good! Be nice, I'll see you later, honey.'' and I push her lightly towards the school doors. ''Make some friends today!'' I call after her. ''Mom!'' she yells back annoyed. Smiling, I look at the little frames slowly disappearing inside the big building.

Then I see the person who has been on my mind every day, standing against the school fence, his favourite spot I start to think. He has his sunglasses on, even though it's drizzling, and has his hands in the pockets of his black jacket. He stares into nowhere, like he's thinking deeply about something. Feeling guilty, I find myself walking towards him and stopping a few feet away. He still fails to notice me and keeps staring in the same direction. I fumble with a button on my jacket and cough lightly to get his attention.

His head snaps in my direction, like I scared him and I jump a little. ''Hey, I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry about yesterday.'' I tell him quickly. My gaze, which was fixed on the tiles between us, shifts to his face to see him staring again, only this time at me. ''I mean, I reacted a little harsh and I wanna clear the air. Are we okay?'' he keeps staring, not moving a muscle.

''This was a bad idea.'' I mumble more to myself than to Ross and turn around to start walking home. I'm walking for a few seconds when I hear his voice calling me. ''Wait, Laura! I gotta talk to you about something! Wait up!'' and he starts walking after me. I pick up the pace, really wanting to avoid having yet another awkward conversation. Something tells me, meeting him was a mistake. I hear him getting closer and start to run, one hand holding onto my bag, one keeping my unzipped jacket closed and regretting putting heels on this morning. ''Laura, don't run away, I'm sorry! Just-'' I keep running and running until only the sound of my heels hitting the pavement are noticeable. I stop running and catch my breath, leaning against a brick wall left to me. Once again, I ran from him, from getting to know who he is and most important: why he came into my life. And I don't know why.