Who Are You? | 이 정석

Mother's Advice

"H-Hye Mi-ah, I'm so relieved to feel you here." Baekhyun says as he holds my hand. He grips my hand tighter but it feels as if he's squeezing my heart instead. I'm not so sure if I can stick it out long enough.

"Gwenchana, I'll always be here Baekhyunie-ah." I say after swallowing sobs that burn my throat that I know he's unable to see.

We sit there in silence and thats when I realize the pouring rain and it seems like he realizes it too. "Now that I'm blind, I guess the pouring rain wouldn't be so bad to listen to." He smiles a bit, joking around. How can he possibly joke around at a time like this? "Hye Mi, now that I am blind," He shifts his head towards me and a sob escapes my mouth. How can Baekhyun endure such emotional pain compared to me? "am I now a burden to you?" He finished. Baekhyun's eyes open and I see that his iris is light grey, almost white.

I cover my mouth. I let out the sobs I've been holding and I break down. "I'm so sorry Baekhyun. I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. If I could reverse time I wou-"

"And what would that do Hye Mi?" Don't call me Hye Mi. I hate it, "It was inevitable, you would have never known this would happen. Even though I'm blind, we're both alive, and so is Hye Jul. I feel so blessed knowing you two are still here." I shake my head. If only you knew Baekhyun.

"You are not and will never be a burden to me Baekhyun," I reach over and I touch his ring, and he smiles.

"I'm glad I have you Kim Hye Mi."

I sniffle before looking out into the pouring rain. "I'm glad I have you too Byun Baekhyun."

-

I open the front door and I put my keys down. "Umma? I'm home!" I yell. I hear shuffling and I see my mom turn around the corner and she runs to hug me.

"Oh my daughter." She starts crying and I hug her tightly. "It's been so long and this house felt so empty without the two of you."

She pats down my hair and smiles at me. "Mianhe Umma, I was taking care of Baekhyun. He's... Blind now."

"Your sister told me everything before she left." Mother had replied. "I cannot believe she'd give up on Baekhyun like that." I shrug, of course I'm still angry at her.

"Umma?" She turns to look at me as she prepares food. "Is it bad to pretend like I'm someone else?"

"To a certain extent it is. Overall it's a bad decision. I know Hye Mi left you with Baekhyun so I understand the circumstances but-"

"Umma they were going to get married. He proposed to her months ago and now she ran away. How can she do such a thing at a time like this?"

"Maybe she's scared and she's doubting herself Hye Jul. Don't you think Hye Mi is horrified by the outcome of the accident? She's scared that she can't take care of him anymore and she doesn't want to him hurt any longer." I sit there processing my mother's words.

"Still, I can't tell Baekhyun the truth, it'd break him entirely."

"Then wait until the right moment. Make him so happy that it doesn't even matter who you are anymore. Show him the pieces of you as Hye Mi. Be the Hye Mi he deserves." Umma advises. I nod, before heading sluggishly to my room. I open my bedroom door and I look around, everything looked the same for the past few months, no one touched anything. Now suddenly I do notice the abundance of papers taped to the walls. They're my drawings. I go to my drawer and I take my current sketchbook out of the many finished ones and I flip to a new page. I look for my pencil and I find my art utensils. Seeing me paints pressures my adrenaline further, I've never felt so much desire to draw something. I grab the pencil and I begin letting myself draw, I finally let all the ideas flow out and I draw faster than ever. Once I'm done I approve of the idea and I go into my closet to get a large canvas that I'd been saving up for a good idea, and now I have it. I place on my easel and I start sketching the scene in my head. As I begin sketching his face, I concentrate on the detail slowly with tears in my eyes. I then move on to the scenery and something in my heart hurts as I draw it. I spend the next few hours painting it and I let it dry overnight as I slept.