Fools

Flash

Chapter 1

Love, is the end of all. It’s the end of sanity and brings about the type of insanity we all want. A guide through the hell we call the ages of thirteen through nineteen; an anchor for the rough waters that always occur in life. Love is the beginning of a new chapter, one filled with happiness. These are all the things love is supposed to do, but for me it doesn’t. The girl I love does none of these things; she does quite the opposite in fact. She’s the road sign that sends me off a cliff; she’s the whirlpool dragging me down. She’s not my saving Grace; she’s my current bitchy girlfriend Grace.

“Excuse me? Are you even listening to me?” Grace’s voice cuts through the soliloquy in my head. My meds must not be working well today; they’re turning me into too much of a zombie.

“What?” I ask dumbly. Her eyes made wide and large (not that they need it) by a black smudged line glare angrily at me.

“Are you listening to me? Gawd, you’re so rude!” Her voice goes high pitched and dramatic, grating on my ears. Why any girl, especially Grace considering how smart she is, would want to dumb herself down is beyond me. I pray for to the universe for an answer to the previous question and to why all I can ever get from Grace is a glare or being cursed at. I don’t receive one.

“Yes I am listening to you. I’m sorry you think I wasn’t.” I say putting a hand on her arm, which she pulls away from. I wish I could say I’m used to it, used to the fact that my girlfriend of three years refuses to let me touch her unless whatever guy she’s hooking up with won’t.

“Ok so like I was saying Lauren and I were at the mall yesterday and found the cutest…” She says more to her harem of friends than me and I let my mind wander and my eyes scan the cafeteria looking for someone I know well enough to go sit with. I only sit with Grace out of duty and usually having no one else to sit with. Eventually my eyes stop on an empty table in the corner, half of it hidden by the wall and I think I can go sit there. Wait, I take that back. That table isn’t empty. There’s a girl almost completely hidden by the wall. I can see pallid paint and ink splattered fingers tapping on the side of a book; long red curly hair blocking her face; a dark green hoodie; and a tangle of headphones twisting around her curls and in her lap.

Nothing takes up audience with her except a light disturbed lunchbox and water. Her fingers tap along with her current song, the pace of the world around her has no meaning to her. A spot of calmness hidden away in a world of hectic nonsense we’re all trying to find our place in. It seems like none of the bad things from my world have any place in hers.

While I’m staring and thinking too deeply, most likely about nothing, the bell rings making everyone stand. I follow along with the crowd, losing her in it. I sigh outwardly and right after curse myself for it. Moments like that, clear moments of calmness like that don’t last so I don’t know what I was expecting.

I keep yelling at myself as I walk back to my class. And it continues all class; my teachers never call on me so I can all class. To them I’m the quiet kid who can read all class, rarely turn in homework and get a hundred on their tests. So they let me alone for the most part, our paths only cross when I turn in homework I actually do when I get bored enough and to hand in tests. The not doing homework thing pisses off my dad when he gets calls home (school policy, not my teachers) and he’ll yell at me over the phone then when he gets my report card with straight A’s he’ll give me two-fifty and make sure my therapy is paid for and call it even.