The Journey (2016)

The Dance

I wait for a sign so I know you're mine everyday
I look in the mirror and I see your face,
The walls break down, down,
When you smile at me,
And the world's much brighter than the one I see.
- Tumse Hi Tumse, Anjaana Anjaani
[My Favorite Song!!]

The Dance

"Do you think we should go see Aisha and Raj?" Radhika asked as they exited the villa.

"They're not here." Nikhil took the lead towards the elevators. "They went back home."

Radhika almost forgot that Raj and Aisha lived just an hour away. It was so strange to have even Nikhil stay at the hotel that it feels like they are on a vacation together. She realized he is probably here to work and she was most likely disrupting his schedule. The table in the bedroom with layers of papers and files looked intimidating. She wanted to tell him it's okay if he doesn't have time but a part of her, the greedy and selfish part of her, wanted him to tag along. She was growing fond of him. Since their deal, she hadn't been overthinking every time she talked to him. When she was in college, she had learned to develop her social skills by talking. This talking lead to excessive nonsense coming out of her mouth and for all she knows she was probably known as "the girl who can't stop talking" through the engineering department.

It was never intentional. When she first moved to California, she was shy and withdrawn person who liked to be alone. She was quite a normal person back home. She was in a boarding school and was the most popular girl of her class, not because she was considered beautiful, but because she was a ranker. The whole school knew her name and everybody wanted to share lunch table with her. They came to her during tests and cheered for her during sports tournaments. It was the kind of life Radhika enjoyed because her talents were appreciated. She was good at studies and sports and people saw that.

Then everything changed when they moved. She was no longer known. She had no identity there, nothing to define her. People never looked at her, they looked past her. When loneliness strikes, thoughts cultivate. When you are not given enough options to think about, mind makes up thoughts and stories you never asked for. For Radhika, they quickly turned into nightmares that haunted her more during the day. Every time she was in a crowd, she felt as if every part of her was being sucked out. Like she was losing energy and will every time another human walked past. When she was alone, by herself, she felt at peace. Having lived away from parents for over six years, she found it difficult to open up. She wasn't allowed to leave the house alone when she was in high school because her parents were scared. They were new to the country and they didn't trust the neighborhood enough.

So she had no option but to think. And think. And think some more. She sat in her room, and in the backyard. She stared at the mirror, and at the sky. She ended up hating her face, and loving the sky.

Nobody saw that part of her. She had a brilliant smile that stretched long on her face. Her eyes sparkled at will and her emotions hid cowardly beneath the light on her face like the stars hide under the Sun's rays.

Nobody saw that part of her, so Radhika willed herself to bury that part forever. When college started, she decided she was going to be the person everybody sees. She wants to be that person inside out. So she refused to let the darkness creep out and talked to strangers. She ended up knowing so many people, but never went beyond the point of acquaintances. She was known as the person she showed them now. Radhika learnt a lesson in life: People will see you as whatever you show them.

But nobody told her that if you ignore a part inside you it will gnaw at you. It will prick you with thorns and burn you with fire. Every day the heaviness increased. Every day thoughts of running far away occurred. Every few days she would stand in front of her parent's doors and debate running away. She was a coward. She could never do it. At last she asked them to let her go for only two weeks. But then she met Nikhil.