Loss

Tears

I am woken up in the middle of the night by Levi's soft whimpering, his hands covering his mouth so as to not make a sound. We had recently gone on another mission outside the walls that, once again lead to many fatalities most of them recent additions to the squad. Outside of this small simplistic room we share he keeps a stoic straight face, but once we get into this room he drops his guard allowing his true emotions to show.

After losing Petra he first asked me to his room, after losing Hanji, he asked be back once again, but once he lost Erwin he couldn't last one night alone. His nightmares recurring, showing him over and over again how truly useless he is. How he allowed his friends to be picked off one by one. I place my arm over his increasingly slimmer waist, entwining my fingers with his, the subtle raised skin from the repeated self harm on his wrists brushes against my bare arm. He untangles our fingers and slowly turns over My eyes, having been used to the darkness of our room for hours, see how puffy and red his eyes are giving his face a much more childlike quality. He sniffles quietly before pulling me closer, pressing his tear dampened face into my shoulder. And there we lie, me unable to console him, and him crying into my chest leaving a giant wet splotch.

Yes, he may feel helpless, and useless. But I'm the truly useless one. Not once have I been able to make it back in time to keep him from marking his previously porcelain skin with yet another deep red gouge, and I with all of these unwanted and unnecessary powers, was unable to keep the people closest to him alive. That, is true helplessness.

(Authors note. Hey guys, I hope you liked it and I know it's really short but this was kinda spurr of the moment. Again I hope you liked it and I hope you have a nice day.)