All I do is pretend now a days. I have to pretend to be happy for the sake of my mom, I can't just snap at her every moment of the day for drinking her ass off. I have to pretend to be happy in front of my ex, it'll look bad of I jump on her and start crying telling her how much I love her and miss her. I have to pretend to be happy in front of every one, when on the inside, I'm miserable. That kind of miserable people are homicidal because of. I can't go around killing people because my mom needs something stable in her life.
She attempted to get a job but she was always late and got caught drinking on the job so she just stays home now. I work, I work my ass off so she can do what she needs to do in order to "grieve". Her way of "grieving" just so happens to be being "numb" or so she calls her drinking escapade...
You see, we were all happy. All three of us, together. Mom hardly drank she cooked and cleaned, she was beautiful. Always had her long brown hair up in some way, she wore gorgeous dresses, she was a pale white but she wore enough cover up to make it look healthy. Dad was handsome, he always wore a suit and tie to work, and always had his hair neatly combed. I remember hugging him as he went out the door to work before I went to school, I was ten then, he smelt like old spice, a sour type of cologne that just smelled amazing. Dad was a lawer, he was super smart. Someday he let me skip school and would take me to work with him. I would sit around in his spinny chair and turn until I puked in his trash bin then I would go eat the doughnuts that Mr. Derrick always brough in to work. He was chubby and happy, he was my friend. There was this woman Lynda, she was the assistant that sat out in front of dads office door and she would take me to the store across the street when dad had big meetings that he had to handle, Lynda was amazing she had curly brown hair that always stayed in place no matter what she was skinny and tall and wore pretty drewelry and beautiful dresses.
Then it happened...
15 or so years ago he was working in a case before I was born and before he married mom, it was a murder case and he won, the killer got put away. When he got out he found the lawfirm and shot up the whole place, they all died. My dad git shot 3 times in the stomach then once in the head. You can tell he wanted dad to suffer.
Then I woke up, when I was ten I created a story in my head about why mom is miserable to make myself feel a little better about walking home from school in the dark. Mom made the dumb mistake one night to drink, she fucked whoever it is that is my dad, and got pregnant with me. When she told him she we pregnant and it was his fault he said that he wasn't ready for a kid then continued to party, so did my mom. She never grew out of the party stage, she's always got a friend over. She doesn't realize it but it is the bum that is taking a spot in our house, drinking moms booze, and eating my food. She calls him a friend, a true friend. He's not, he's an ass-hole. I work two jobs to feed him, my mom, and I. I don't talk to him I don't even know his name but when he stays at my house I stay with Aiden. My mom knows him and half the time she sends me over to stay it his house so she doesn't have to be tied down by her daughter.
Aidens mom, Emily, knows about my moms "issues" and has a spare room made up for me whenever I need it, sometimes they are out of town so she gave me a key a while back when I really needed it.
One night, the bum had a friend over, he kept calling him his guy, code for he has 4/20. My mom thinks I'm stupid but I'm not, I know what they are talking about. She started yelling at me because I was watching a movie on YouTube on the phone that I pay for. She said I was being rude to our guest so she took my phone and shoved it into her pocket then handed me her cup and said "go make me a drink"
"No, I'm not going to make you another drink tonight, you need to go to bed mom" I said rather calmly
"Who are you to tell me what to do!" She yelled at me
