Anxiety

1

I just want to be saved from the monsters; the monsters that chased after me. All they want is to deteriorate me, to make me feel like less by pushing me more; farther and farther away from civilization. From any chance of help. I desperately searched for a way out. I yearned for my home. Sometimes I just accepted that it would never get better; that i would never be the same, but I tried to get away. I tried so hard.

Tears pricked at my fearful eyes for reasons I didn't fully understand. I didn't know why they fell most of the time. Pity? Fear? Sadness? Whatever the feeling was, I had become desensitized to it, having felt it so much before. Wiping them away with exhausted arms I continued run. The thought of facing the creatures that kept me up at night sent an electric shock of dread through me and I pushed harder than ever before to get away.

I was on the edge now, ready to jump, and I could feel them getting closer. I knew that this was the only way to escape the deep, deep grave I had dug myself. Each step sent a chilled shiver down my back. My chest heaved as I choked on nothing. It felt as if invisible hands were wrapped around my throat. I clawed at my skin with trembling hands; my whole body was shaking violently. I glanced one last time over the edge, staring into the murky black nothingness that stood before me. My body flashed with chills, then extreme heat as my mind went haywire.

This is it. This is the end. I've finally snapped. I won't make it any farther.

My toes teetered dangerously close to the edge of black. I closed my eyes and fell. My arms and legs flailed and my heart heat out of my chest, sending echoes of a drum loudly through my head. My whole body throbbed with fear coursing through my veins. My hopes of finally returning to the light were demolished by the scene before me. My heart was in my mouth when I saw myself back on the ledge before the very beasts that resided in my closet each and every night. My great attempts to escape the cruelness of the world I had been so wrongfully thrown into had all been for nothing as I fell in a spiral back into the pit of darkness I had grown so familiar to. Terrible realization struck me like a punch in the stomach, knocking the little breath I had out of me once again.

You can't run from the monsters if they're in your head.