Deaths journal

Chapter one

I can see your pain, your suffering as you are tortured through life, and watch without flinching but only because I have to. I do what I can to help you, always trying my hardest to ease your pain. All the things the word "death" might be acknowledged for are always misused. I may be the only one who truly understands life and death, for I am Death.and although I may not have a heart,how can I say I have not lived when you know my legacy.....well actually you don't,never mind that statement then..I don't take kindly to the name that has been forcefully given to me. I prefer the name ... People don't look at me in a nice manner, because they think of me as a monster. Even amongst the massive crowds of bloodthirsty abominations that humans have crowned "demons" have cast me out and banished me due to jealousy of my power. I passively left gladly,relieved to get out of the prison I had been in for so long.I was having a hard time back then but times have changed; I try and make myself as pleasing as possible, making death a more warm and welcoming experience. I was tired of people being afraid of me but things backfired. People started cutting themselves and offing themselves for reasons I don't find purposeful. These deaths give me headaches, because they were dying in the most sad, relentless, even stupid ways. The way these people died was never my intention. People truly deserve to die whether they are good people or bad. An example would be a good man leading a humane life is then shot and left for dead, so I would quickly take them since there is no need for them to suffer. As for others, that are beings of pure hate and evil with to many inner demons to count, now them, I sit back and watch them suffer, and I smile the biggest smile with no shame. I tended to give them illnesses all so that I can see that they're in hell forever,the sooner the better. Now lets go back to the beginning.It all started in, well, I'm not sure I was never born I just existed. I'd like to believe "he" created me but in all honesty I've never felt His presence. The first thing I remember was opening my eyes. I was leaning against a cave wall and there were these huge gates across from me with the absence of matter on the other side. In the cave, it was hot and glowing with what looked like a flame but this cave went on forever in every direction, an endless abyss with a dim light to lead the way. I lived there for what I thought would be eternity. I never experienced hunger, fatigue, or pain because I never knew of it. I was never lonesome. I had no problems in what I would call life, but I wasn't living till the first day I saw beautiful color.one day All of a sudden I heard a whisper then an enormous crash the only time in my life I feared for myself. After hours of traveling I looked for where it came from. The crashing sound echoed and echoed,I looked from one direction to the other. Listening to find from were the sound had came from.finally I had found it,it came from the gate but now with all colors to observe for my likeness.more and more things would appear from the other side which I would soon know as water, grass, land animals, and insects. I longed for them, this very well may have been the first time I felt one of the sins, envy. Oh, how bad I wanted to be out there wanted to fly like the birds roam free like the lions. Little did I know what kind of a monster I was. For the longest time even after this land mass was made, I sat in what felt like for the first time sorrow and anger because I soon became lonesome and I envied more and became more and more frustrated. I heard for the first time the sounds of the Earth, such as enormous waves clashing, bright colored birds chirping, magnificent wolfs howling. It was truly overwhelming since I was not adapted to all these foreign objects and creatures. I would howl in anger like the wolves at the giant black gates holding me confined to this isolated cave. I clanged against the gate like a crazed man. Finally I accepted something, I would be stuck there alone forever until the end of times and there was nothing I could do about it.