My name is Elliot Finn and this is my account of the last few months of my life. I beg you to bear with me.
I'm going to start with December. A usually sad month. For me at least. It's remarkably cold, and it holds the second saddest holiday after Valentine's Day. I know it's probably weird to hear but I do believe that Christmas is truly, a sad holiday. Now, you can say I think this because of my broken family, or my complete lack of love for gingerbread-like flavours and tinsel. But that has nothing to do with it. I actually don't like Christmas because I don't like the idea of giving gifts to people. I'm awful at giving gifts. Always have been really, ever since I thought it would be a good idea to give my mother a small cardboard box that had a tea bag in it for her birthday. It would have been cute, had I not been 14 years old.
Regardless of the reasoning, I find December to be a uselessly cold month. Especially on the morning of December 16th. I woke up to my 15 year old sister throwing a tantrum because my mother had taken the curling iron with her on her so-called business trip. We all pretty much knew it was because she had a secret boyfriend. Or maybe it was because she wanted drugs. Maybe she was a prostitute and didn't want us to be ashamed of her. I guess we didn't really know why she left. We just knew that Walmart employees don't usually go on business trips. Especially three weeks out of the month.
I slowly got out of bed. It was a Tuesday. I've always always hated Tuesdays. It's like Mondays but ten times worse. I did what I usually do in the morning. I got up, regretfully put on pants and a seemingly clean blue shirt that was a size too big.
I ended up not eating breakfast today. Or any day in fact. I hated breakfast foods and I hated getting up early specifically to eat. So I grabbed myself a thermos full of orange juice and walked out to the car which, although originally painted red, was now covered in a blissful white coat of frost. I internally weeped and externally cussed as I ridded the mazda of its frosted windows and sat in the drivers seat. It took a while for the car to turn on but that didn't really surprise me at all. The amount of times that car had broken down was astonishing. The only thing holding it up was pretty much sheer willpower and a bit of gorilla glue. The drive to school was exactly 13 minutes and 42 seconds on the back road with no traffic. I tried everyday to keep that exact time, slowing down or speeding up if I have to.
13 minutes and 49 seconds later I was in the school parking lot silently loathing the ice I had hit that slowed me down for a few seconds. Other than that, It was a pretty accurate timing in comparison to others. I pulled myself out of the car and I trudged through the snow into the back door of the school. As a senior in highschool I have to enter the back door of the school. It's closer to my locker so it's convenient but I had given up on textbooks and supplies entirely so I stopped going to my locker in the middle of my sophomore year. Given that my first class was at the other end of the school, the fifteen minute walk seemed entirely unnecessary.
I made it to my first class and sat directly in the back, as I always do. It was biology and I had no interest in it whatsoever.
I didn't notice her right away. She didn't stand out, she didn't make me fall in love with her at first sight, she wasn't like that. In fact, had we not both had a spare next period, I could have very well not noticed her for the next 6 months, well, noticed her in the way I should have. I saw her, and I knew of her existence, but it's hard to know someone like her. She sat up front, where all I could see was her half-bun. The kind that's only partially secure and partially an utter mess. The only reason I noticed her at all was that not once during the whole class did she pay attention. She simply stared out the window as if nothing happened.
"Mr. Finn, care to have any input on this?" Mr. Mulronney stared at me from the front of the room. His eyes like daggers. I had clearly missed something.
"I would give you my opinion but I think you and I both know I wasn't paying attention, nor do I care." The class laughed but I hadn't intended it to be a joke.
"I noticed, too busy staring at Ms. Carlile, are we?"
"Who?"
"Blythe Carlile. The girl you've been staring at all class." This was clearly an attempt to humiliate me but it didn't really work. Blythe. It was a weird name but I was in no place to judge with a name like Elliott Finn. I enjoyed weird. I glanced up at Blythe again and realized she hadn't once glanced up to acknowledge that she was being talked about. It was probably a good thing for my sake.
The class came to an abrupt end and everyone made a rush to their next class. Well, everyone but Blythe and I. I took this opportunity to talk to her, see what her deal was.
"You're new." Without even turning around she responded,
"You were staring at me."
"So you were paying attention." I replied.
"What makes you think I wasn't?" Her voice was soft, but had a harsh undertone.
"You were staring out the window all class."
"And you know that because you were staring at me all class. We all stare at different things." I smiled slightly as she said this.
"Why were you staring out the window?" I asked, and I genuinely wanted to know.
"Would you rather be staring at Mulronney all class?" She made a fair point. Mulronney was a balding man with a bulging waistline and bug-like eyes. He wasn't someone you'd like to meet purposely. More like the kind of guy who you'd come across on a lower class online dating website.
"You make a good point."
"Why were you staring at me the whole class?" I didn't answer because I realized I didn't actually have a good reason. I just kind of did. She turned around to face me for the first time and it took me by surprise. She was dainty, with her chin pointed and her eyes a pale gray. She raised her eyebrows at me and undid her bun. Her hair fell in awkward partial waves and framed her face. A kind of curl that looks like she just got out of bed, but still placed it where she wanted it. It looked oddly nice on her, but I didn't say anything.
"Why aren't you in your second period class?" I asked her, attempting to divert her mind.
"Oh, but Mr. Finn, I am. I have a spare this period." She leaned back and propped her feet up on edge of the desk in front of her.
"Elliott."
"What?"
"My name, it's Elliott. Not Mr. Finn."
"Does it matter?" It was obvious this would not be the first time she called me anything other than my real name.
"Yes, it does." I said. She shrugged and leaned her head back, only to lift it up again and look out the window at the light snowflakes..
"It's snowing out."
"I noticed, I hate the cold." She glared at me, not breaking eye contact. "What?" I asked after an uncomfortable amount of time.
"How does one hate the cold?"
"You like the cold?"
"Love it. I like Autumn more because it's prettier and has remarkably less ugly snowmen, but yes, I like the cold."
"You hate snowmen?"
"They're hard to make, and end up melting in a supremely gross way. What other things do you hate?" She asked in a way that kinda felt like she was going to judge me, but also like she genuinely wanted to know more about me.
"Breakfasts, mornings, the cold, December, books, biology, unnaturally coloured hair, and stating all of the things I hate. The list goes on."
"You're a pretty hateful person, Mr. Anti-Frost. I don't know if I can be around that much negativity. Although the world is a pretty big shit-hole so maybe you're right in hating so many things."
"The entire world is a shit-hole?"
"The entire thing."
"You sound like the more negative person right now, Ms. Carlile." She laughed slightly. Just enough to reveal a small dimple below the left side of her bottom lip. Unexpectedly cute.
"I see what you did there, and I don't appreciate it." She smiled. "Y'know what, Elliott Finn? I think we're going to get along just fine."
