Make Your Mark

Chapter 1

I wake up in the morning and look to my left. I roll my eyes as I see that it's Monday. I get out of bed and walk over to my dresser. I scowl as I look at my shit hole of a room. I have a lot of stress on my plate. It seems that nothing is going the way I want it to.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Hi, my name is Kayla. I'm 17 years old, I'm a senior in high school. I have what's known as a 'reduced schedule,' which means that I only have 4 classes and I only go to school every other day. But don't let that make you think that it's any easier. Because it isn't. Let me just describe a little bit of my life for a minute.

**********************************************************************************

My mom works pretty far away, so she has a pretty big commute every day. She works anywhere from 8 hours to 10 hours a day, and she is hardly ever home. Which means that she doesn't get to clean around the house or do anything else. The only things she does around the house is wash the clothes and cook. She does laundry because the last time that I was on laundry duty, I broke the washer. Oops. Let's just say that I'm not the sharpest pencil in the box. And she cooks because if I try to cook a real dinner I'll end up burning the whole house down. I'm not exactly stay-at-home-mom/wife kinda material.

So I'm in charge of cleaning the whole house. I wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, clean the living room, vacuum, clean my room(s), and clean up after our cat, Patches. Patches is one of the most annoying cats I have ever owned. If I don't clean his litter box once a day, he will proceed to shit all over the upstairs. The other day he shit in the bathtub. And that is so irritating. Because that attracts flies. And I hate flies. They are disgusting, and they're bottom-feeders.

Moving on to school. I have piles of homework. I know, I only have four classes. How much homework could I possibly have, right? Wrong. I'm drowning. On top of all the cleaning that I do, along with homework, I don't really have time to do much else. I'm not a very productive person. I'm miserable, I'm out of shape, and I'm not healthy. Mentally OR physically.

I'm drowning in my stress. My anxiety is starting to eat me alive. It seems silly, because my life from the outside looks pretty good. I have friends, and an amazing girlfriend, but I don't know. Nothing feels right. Everything is crashing down on top of me and I'm having trouble handling all of the weight.

*******************************************************************

I open my drawers and look for an acceptable outfit for today. I decide on a graphic tee with some ripped jeans. I slip on my shoes and put in some earrings. I walk into the bathroom and start on my hair before the day has officially started.

Once I'm ready for the day, I walk into my bedroom and grab my headphones off of my TV stand. I plug them into my phone and turn on my Spotify playlist. I look at the time: 6:45. Right on time. I grab my backpack and sling it over my shoulder before running down the steps. I open the medicine cabinet and grab my pills before grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge and taking my medicine. I shut the fridge and say good morning to my mom before running out the front door to the bus stop.

'Ugh, school....' I think to myself as I see the familiar school bus come rolling down the street. I hop on the bus and check my phone. I see a text from my girlfriend, and I smile. 'Gosh, I think I love this girl.'

We've been together for almost two months. And, although that doesn't seem like a long time, we've been together constantly. And when we're not together, we're texting. So it's kinda been like living with her for two months. It's honestly amazing. She is amazing. She understands me perfectly. I don't really have to explain myself when it comes to her. This girl... She kinda just gets it, ya know? Now I know what people mean when they say that somebody is their 'other half.' I completely understand. Because this girl is my other half. Without a doubt. Going longer than 25 minutes without talking to her is a struggle. I'm really falling for her. Hard.  

I sit on the bus by myself and sigh.

Friends aren't really my strong point. Making friends is hard for me because I don't have a mute button. I sort of just say whatever comes to mind. And it makes people hate me. Because I can say some pretty hateful things. Which, of course, sends people running for the hills. I don't really have a problem with it, though. If people can't deal with what I say, then they shouldn't be my friend anyway. I need somebody who will laugh with me, not question my motives.

That's also how I am when I write. I just write whatever pops in my head. And it messes with the dynamic of what I'm writing. It just... It's not as interesting when I write things. People get bored, doze off. 

**********************************************************************

I walk through the doors of hell. I smile as the sun hits my face. I hear my name and look around, only to see my friends Jacob and Amy. They are two of my closest friends at this school. I used to be pretty popular here, but a lot of my friends either dropped out or graduated. It's pretty much just Jacob, Amy and I now. Plus Jason, but he's hardly ever at school. So, like I said: Jacob, Amy and I. We make it work though. We always have stuff to do when we're not in class. Whether it's during the class switches (hallway time,) or whether it's during lunch. We manage to stay entertained.

I walk over to Amy and give her a big hug.

"Oh my gosh, Kayla, I'm pregnant!" She tells me and I gasp in mock shock.

As much as I love Amy, she's had her fair share of pregnancy scares. And every single time, she's asked me to move in. Of course my mom and I told her that she's always welcome in our house, but it's starting to get old. She always miscarries, or says that it was a false positive. So I don't really know how to react anymore when she tells me stuff like this. 

"Well, what are you going to do?" I ask her, and she sighs. She sits down on one of the benches and looks at me.

"Caleb said that he supports whatever decision I make. Whether I decide to keep the baby, or whether I decide to abort. Whatever I do, he said he's going to be there for me and stand by my side." She smiles. I smile too. I think this guy that she's with is actually a good guy.

They've been on and off for two years, and although there's been other relationships in between, they seem to be standing strong. 

"Well that's good. Y'all need some structure. All you guys do is have rough sex and nothing else," I laugh and she scowls at me. She rolls her eyes and says bye before walking over to her bus. I follow suit and get on my bus. I sit down and sigh.

'Welcome to my life.'